tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-59274792605286406672024-02-19T06:59:42.314-08:00Gossip Aiyahs Juicy juicy mambalam BlogageGossip Aiyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04409756781051399561noreply@blogger.comBlogger50125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5927479260528640667.post-30509359146989041082012-11-25T07:15:00.001-08:002012-11-25T07:17:25.318-08:00Too sick to think op title but please readGossip Aiya is sick. Dam sick in fact. What began as ismall sniffling sniffling now become some dam jungle fevers only. Cannot move, cannot stay the still also. Nose is red like that Rudolf bugger, sarong is green from blowing said nose. Chikey. <br />
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Now in these sad situashuns, one usually can rely on ones chosen partner in lipe to be looking apter and say things like "aney sin only" and boiling kothamali and giuing. Nondi Dawids wipe ewen doing dirty dirty things to him to make him feeling better when he sick. As a result that sneaky bugger pretending ol the time to be sick when he is healthier than even that boy eating eating samaposha on TV ad. Anyway that is another istory.
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Now when I am sick, my dam baboon of a wipe not doing any of these things. (That said ip she tried to do dirty things to me poor Gossip Aiya might get nightmares on top of other simptoms.) She talling me "You useless bugger don't act like ismol baby, stop whining and get up and go on hire" and other hurtpul things like that. Then she coming with toilet brush and chasing me outside.
This time though, I am peeling so below the weather that even constant scoldings and yellings prom wipe not moving me prom bed. So pinally she talling me to go to her sisters brotherinlos daughter who is doctor in Kottawa. So I went to see this person. At once as I went into oppice, she putting one look up and down and then without asking queshuns ewen she writes paper and gius and send me to pharmacy. 5 dipperent medicines only! One to take bepore the isleep, one to take apter the meals, other one bepore the meals, one with the meals, other one instead op the meals, and so on. Poor GA wery conpused.
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Anyway I am going home and istraight away before I can take jungi off ewen, wipe coming with water and giuing and talling "here now take take medicine soon soon". Now this make Gossip Aiya the wery suspishus. I am beginning to thinking maybe this so coll sisters brotherinlo's daughter is in pact not sisters brotherinlo's daughter. And maybe this "medicine" is not to send me just back abowe the weather but another 6 feet under the weather only. So I try to say later later but she gawe me thundering look and got so iscared I took medicine.
But Gossip Aiya can olso be sneaky. so ewen tho I take medicine I not really taking medicine but keeping under tongue. And when wipe was sweeping gardens I took it out, crush it and put in wipes cup of tea. Tee hee hee! Now wipe catching me looking looking at her closely and now she giuing me suspishus looks and asking "what are you looking at" so I talling "I just looking at you and thinking how lucky I am to hau truly beautipuls wipe like araliya plower in the full blooming" but I think she not buying it.
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Wish me luck!
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Dishum dishum
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Gossip Aiya
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P.S. Today no funy picture. Gossip Aiya put googly image search por "jungle fever" to see what pictures coming, but ol sorts op dirty dirty things only coming! So as this is family blog, cannot put such things. But the more seedy op my pans should go and put said googly search and see.Gossip Aiyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04409756781051399561noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5927479260528640667.post-65930940455101445742012-09-18T05:36:00.001-07:002012-09-18T05:37:03.752-07:00Coll me Gossip aiyah<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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today in glorious nashun of sri lanka cricket is istart. this is very excite for gossip aiya whose other porms of entertain are being taken away by king. king has put kong on gossip aiyas pavourite aktivities of drinking by giving for lies reason like "ah today no drink it is week of poya, today can not drink because it is week bepore week op poya" not only king is putting downer on the ispirits but putting downer in other arials (like kollikuttu) also by putting underwears like barriers (below the buriyas) on all the interweb sites with all the nice kumaris. euritime i is going it is say 'content is being blocked' content blocked only, somenights GA wake up with content euriwheres on sarong. chi!
therepore GA hau new pass time of listening to ingiligh radio istashun in the pree time ( which is very much high these days apter those soththa nano cab buggers hau come with their meters, if i catch those useless buggers i will put their meter up their exhaust pipe until the charges reaches many thousands) anyways so listening to engilish songs. ammatasiri! not like song by sunil santha englihs song much more betters than kumari ful website! one man telling the chennai super king whistle podu song to a girl saying "aney nangi blow my whitle please" but we are all know by whistle he is really mean his handbrake. chick witharak. i olso like cheeky man ( not buttock cheeky but joke cheeky ok) went with 10 rupee yellow whistle to a police nangi and said "can you blow my whistle baby?" and got one nice kaney shot ( as this funny man called jehan say ( not mubarak he is only funny when he is batting) "one thundering slap" )
olso there is some pat yellow man ( no not the simpsons man some other man) who is telling oppum gannam istyle and jumping up and down like some dam hooligan. GA is very learnful but he is no idea what is this meaning. from his size i can only thinking it must mean "pass me the fried rice" that got me thinking. why our buggers are not making random songs and making money and bringing more glory to glorious nashun of rajapakistan? (other than we are already being so glory ful that we do not have the ispace for this extra glory) why not some nice man like kandamby come in song saying "deepung ulundu vadei" ( dear sir kindly pass me one numbers of that fine fried lentil balls) or something equally silly? i think that is what will get GA enouhg money to buy nano cab.
now tell me who has seen princess op englands mambalams? not because king has put chakablast on that also....
Dishum Dishum
Gossip Aiyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04409756781051399561noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5927479260528640667.post-53118880703223115772012-01-11T13:51:00.000-08:002012-01-11T14:36:50.333-08:00No-balls<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGAMpf9RL-brD8C6xUjzyEUsrSB1CGeDw12cfxMAuwaG00IV1L8eqh-yKrBSjiOCwwWx-QiuM1HZS3TPCbJkNGgdRpo5jbFzNGzRii6n7wsZi8Wt7Vhl1qfljoVY7mXHdeVUX7Cxiae4Sw/s1600/dilshan.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 201px; height: 251px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGAMpf9RL-brD8C6xUjzyEUsrSB1CGeDw12cfxMAuwaG00IV1L8eqh-yKrBSjiOCwwWx-QiuM1HZS3TPCbJkNGgdRpo5jbFzNGzRii6n7wsZi8Wt7Vhl1qfljoVY7mXHdeVUX7Cxiae4Sw/s320/dilshan.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5696507006238382626" /></a><br />My goat. 43 ol out. What a shamepul situashun. Gossip Aiya today hanging nashunal plag at halp mast (when i say halp mast acshually mean halp arial as I hau no mast on tree wheel but hau arial) in memory op the untimely death op cirikate team. These southern aprican buggers running around like cocks-in-a-hoop and our buggers hanging heads and crying like Tom Dooley only. Chikey. OK so maybe they hau some tall alien looking Morkel character running in like he has firecracker lodged up backside, and bowling on pitch that hau more bounce than Nondi Dawid's man bosoms. But still. 43. 43!! Something depinitely rong.<br /><br />Now lot op smart alecs talking on radio and newspapers like they know it ol. Like apter pirst test they talling that team cannot beat not only South Aprica A but cannot beat South Aprica under-15 B side. Apter second test those SAME fooligans talling we are world beaters, champions blah blah blah de blah and so on and so porth. Bloody useless hacks. I tell them to shutup and wait.<br /><br />Now I hau been looking at this book op pace olso apter this mammoth defeat and some buggers talling "Dilshan must go", some other buggers talling "Dilhara must go" some other buggers talling " that iscrawny half man half chicken Kula must go". OK maybe that last one was me. But I talling bepore anyone coming or going, these good por nothing politishans should get their act together and pay these poor buggers. They go around voting new interim committees eury other week and walk around looking important in luxury wehicles and ol. What Gossip Aiya cannot underistand is that ip we can appord to host commonwealth games and ply hundreds op buggers to carribean to shake hands and shake other things, how can we not appord to pay 11 buggers to represent king and country in only isport we are half good at? (I am not counting pocket billiards altho one can argue that it is olso a nashunal isport) OK maybe the senior players make enuf money adwertising por Dialog, Mobitel, Celltel, Airtel, Anytel and Ewerytel, but these new buggers can't get an endorsemant ewen prom Harischandra Noodles. <br /><br />It like this. Imagine you hau maid. You tall maid to come to work ewery day. But you don't pay maid. Then you go and complain to neighbours and bread shop man and barber and ol talling that maid is not doing good job and burning your papadams. Gossip Aiya hau to say you are lucky maid ewen shows up to work, and that the only thing she is burning is your papadams! Same thing with cirickate team. Ip this hau happaned in some suddha country like England by now the players would be talling "Sod this, I'm off to the pub". Meanwhile our buggers istill gamely facing up to Morkel and crew sending bolls plying into ribs like homing missiles. I tip my hat to you sirs. <br /><br />That said, I don't hau hat and ewen ip I had one I don't know how to tip it. I know only how to lipt sarong, but maybe not the occassion por such an acshun. So will sit and wait.<br /><br />Dishum dishum<br />Gossip AiyaGossip Aiyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04409756781051399561noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5927479260528640667.post-59584342905192713402011-10-29T06:53:00.000-07:002011-10-29T06:58:54.483-07:00On line to put lineHalew Pans!<br /><br />So you must be ol asking "Where this bloody Gossip Aiya, long time no ispeaking". It is true. To tall the truth, last 6 month hau been wery dippicult time por me. Basically this what happan. <br /><br />One night, it was wery hot night. Gossip Aiya isweating isweating and waiting. Moskitos olso euriwheres coming close singing in ear and going. Put Good Night coil, what bloody good night. Wipe olso isnoring beside me like nasally congested baboon. So I get up, put sarong and stand outside. Nothing happan outside. So come inside and put tv box. Nothing happan on tv box, only nashunal plag plying plying and some jockstrap singing namo namo matha. So what else to do but put hand party? So Gossip Aiya tipitoed back to bedroom, check to see wipe istill past asleep, then put computer on. Now wotching quite interesting things on internet (better not describe as i know some pans are istill wery ismolls, ip you want to know what Gossip Aiya talking about go to wotch brand new feature film at Roxy). Anyways these things on internet so interesting Gossip Aiya did not hear this aforementioned unsightly sounds prom bedroom suddenly istop. These things so interesting Gossip Aiya did not hear footsteps coming closer. Gossip Aiya only realise the ill fate that was about to befol him when wipe iscream "THAMUSAY MONAWADHA KARANNEY??!!" and other unmenshunable words. This was swiptly pollowed by kaney shot to end ol kaney shots. Poor Gossip Aiya was sent running prom house so fast no time ewen to tie sarong. <br /><br />So since then wipe hau colled SLT and now we hau no broadband. Only band in house is rubber band. Wipe olso threaten "ip i hear you are going to internet capey and doing dirty dirty things i will cut your mambalams opp when you are isleeping" so Gossip Aiya wery iscared and hau been what you technologicals peoples colling "oppline". Now come online wery quickly to put line to dear pans (wipe hau gone to dhaney op sister's husband's motherinlaw's goat or something in Seenigama).<br /><br />Anyways, lot op things happaning in Rajapakistan since I tolk last. Onerable and noble King hau done many onerable and noble things por our peoples (while Nodhakin doing not so onerable and noble things to swimming pool cleaning boy). Euriwhere looking, new buildings, bridges, roads and so many other things. Now galle road is so plat, ewen 30 year old tata lorries gliding as ismooth as babys buttocks. You can go prom colombo to bentota in same time that it takes to brush ones teeth. (op course Isuru Malli will not underistand that statmant as he does not know what this teeth brushing business is. his breath is so odorful that he can curdle milk by exhaling prom 10 meters away) We ewen recently hau inaugaral "South Asian Beach Games" in Hambantota. That is ip you coll a volleybol team prom Nepal, two sailors prom Bangladesh that had probably lost their way and 20 spectators an internashunal isporting ewent. <br /><br />Now onerable king hau gone to Australia to rub noses with Queen and other buggers op this common wealth (hopefully not rubbing anything else). Maybe he should talk to Australian prime minister as we hau lot in common. Both countries hau good crickating team. Both countries hau convicts and unsawory characters running freely on the istreets. Both countries olso hau wery problematic nashunal carriers. (Por those who are not wery upto date with current appairs unlike Gossip Aiya, Kwantas airline hau been kept on ground by labor dispute, while one op our fleet was caught in Paris last week with engine about to fall off.)<br /><br />Anyways Gossip Aiya is going por seshun with ol the usual suspects to celebrate day op freedom bepore wipe comes back. Hopepully she will come on new road so quickly she will be in Puttalam bepore she realise she hau missed Colombo. Can giu me time por one last hand party.<br /><br />Dishum Dishum<br />Gossip Aiya<br /><br />p.s. Grease yaka came to put part in Nondi Dawid's house last week. Nondi cought the bugger and shoved a broomstick up where sun not shining. Too bad that was the one place there was no grease.Gossip Aiyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04409756781051399561noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5927479260528640667.post-36679354954228539442011-02-28T14:31:00.001-08:002011-03-30T12:55:56.043-07:00Pinally bloggage!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFaGF869w1C-N2VdI4gNeiFU16Z4Sh02l06467jJsiFeql8Cwt71YJv-Un0yi-gDLKQD1s53h7STlmq4QKyPmsFOc0EPBC3o2hq297KreoxRPENaaq0hKpFrgWU8tq6JKM47YoF0HpVdqy/s1600/indaicricket.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 243px; height: 207px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFaGF869w1C-N2VdI4gNeiFU16Z4Sh02l06467jJsiFeql8Cwt71YJv-Un0yi-gDLKQD1s53h7STlmq4QKyPmsFOc0EPBC3o2hq297KreoxRPENaaq0hKpFrgWU8tq6JKM47YoF0HpVdqy/s320/indaicricket.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5589964107434131330" /></a><br />Pans I am back and on the line!!The wery sorry por the wery long time period op inactiwity. I hau been working days and nights and ewen preshus apternoon napping time to save monies to buy plat iscreen to wotch cirickate world cup pinal. You will be wery glad to know that I hau today purchased said plat iscreen prom Abans showroom - it is so plat that ewen Murali couldn't turn a boll on it! By the way those Abans buggers are dam cussard buggers. When I walked in wearing batas and sarong some soththa pello coming and shooing me out like some cockaroach talling "here here inside only customers, ip you want to wotch tv then wotch prom outside like ol other peoples". How the bloody cheek. When he saw envelope I was holding pull op notes with king pace on opcourse he starting bowing bowing saying "sorry sir yes sir no sir tree bags pull sir" and ol that. Bugger got what he deserwed though. As the jockstrap was bending ower to lipt tv box to put in my tree wheel i walked right in pront op him and let rip one ungodly googly only straight into pace! tee hee hee<br /> <br />So anyway, on Saturday I am hauing ismoll party in newly baptised "platscreen room" (not to be conpused with "latreen room"). Ol prends are coming - Nondi Dawid, Nil Batta and other buggers prom tree wheel istand. I hau olso asked Isuru Malli to come oltho that bugger knows as much about cirickate as Soththapala in opposishun knows about winning elechuns. Thankpully wipe is going to her relashuns village so we can put party in peace without dam woman screeching at me like chimpanzee to turn down volume.<br /><br />Now I know some peoples are worried about our boise going and playing dirty chapathi boise in their own dirty chapathi country. Ewen tho onerable noble king is making good use op our tax rupees to fly himselp and 30 op his crew to Mumbai to giu our boise moral support, we will indeed be outnumbered. Gossip Aiya tho thinks we should "take out the positiwes" prom the situashun (like hearing ol the time prom captain op team that got trashed in post-match interview). Our boise don't hau to be worried about the pollowing things with the chapathis hau to worry about ip they do not play well -<br /><br />a) hauing bottles/istones/warious rubbish/aloo gobi/dirty underwear thrown at them prom pans in the istand <br />b) hauing their houses istoned/set on pire<br />c) hauing euri cirickate pundit and their dog talking dirty things about them por next four years<br />d) getting set upon in dressing room by a wery angry and drunk Navjot Singh Sidhu cursing them in ol sorts op ingenious and nonsenical ways (something like "ip ips and ands were pots and pans, i will drag you outside and shoot you in the street like the dogs you are")<br />e) losing millions op rupees in adwertisemants por sopt drinks, clotheswear, motorbikes, tampons and other things (prom what I hear our buggers are giwen 5000 rupees and a lunch packet to do a TV ad)<br />f) ip they get really thrashed, hauing to relocate to some remote willage in Mongolia and take fake names like Gengis Kan to escape prom murderous public<br /><br />Therepore my in depth analysis suggests that chapathis will supper prom "home disadwantage". <br /><br />So par I hau to say I am wery conpident in our boise abilities. Only worry is middle order. Can't blame the buggers olso becos they hau hardly had a chance to play. I think Dilshan and Upul should hau retired in England game to giu them chance to hit themselwes into porm against such a schoolboy bowling attack (as boycott says, ewen my achchi could bowl better than those goons). Anyway cannot be helped. Only thing Gossip Aiya suggests sending Silva and Sam the Man to "school op hard knocks" to practice polladi techniques bepore Saturday.<br /><br />Anyway, here is wishing our boys ol the best (not prom LG and Abans but prom Gossip Aiya). Let's show those nose-picking never-washing street-defecating gulab jamuns what our lions are made op. Jayawewa!!<br /><br />Dishum dishum (ara ara ara aroooo)<br />Gossip AiyaGossip Aiyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04409756781051399561noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5927479260528640667.post-89970425560578679252010-12-24T13:43:00.000-08:002010-12-24T14:09:34.099-08:00Merry the Christmas!!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_cv4Mwfyw3r0/TRUZrqRDJSI/AAAAAAAAAGQ/h5HRj_XcSQ0/s1600/srilanka%2Bsanta.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_cv4Mwfyw3r0/TRUZrqRDJSI/AAAAAAAAAGQ/h5HRj_XcSQ0/s320/srilanka%2Bsanta.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5554373953302242594" /></a><br />To ol my near and dear Pans<br /><br />On this wery pestiwe and joyus day op ol days, Gossip Aiya would like to wish you ol "Merry Christmas" - or as one vocabularitically challenged radio stashun talling, "Merry Kissmas". I set alarm today at midnight to wake up wipe and wish Merry Christmas, but bloody woman gawe me a tight slap and sent me on my merry way only.<br /><br />I would olso like to take this opportunity to thank ol pans in the Rajapakistan and in the many corners op the world por kind pollowing and paithfully reading ol this bollocks i am posting ewery so opten in warious stages op drunkenness. I hope you are lauping as much when reading as I laup when I see Isuru Malli getting chased by mad dogs down Nawam Mawatha. <br /><br />Today plan is to hammer bothal op coconut wine (brought by Nondi Dawid and not by coconut mafia) and put a paduru party with ol tree wheel buggers prom Maharagama tree wheel istand. Then we is to go around colombo in tree wheels, go near rasthiyadu buggers on side op road and throw crackers at them and laup. Ewery year these soththa buggers throwing throwing as I am going on hire so this year we hau decided to giu them taste op their own medicine.<br /><br />In conlushun, Gossip Aiya would like to end with sapety message to ol pans. By ol means drink. By ol means driwe. But please do not drink and driwe. Espeshally on these roads - ip you hit pothole, bothal will spill olllll ower sarong and pront seat and your wehical will ismell like Dematagoda Distillary plant until February!<br /><br />Ok now going back to sit on paduru bepore that drunken monkey Nil Batta pinises ol the coconut wine.<br /><br />Dishum Dishum (falalalala la la la la - hic!)<br />Gossip AiyaGossip Aiyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04409756781051399561noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5927479260528640667.post-88042763482018975062010-12-14T10:41:00.000-08:002010-12-14T12:23:49.370-08:00Sun shining, wipe whining<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVf4Nk0gP8303PyrTNOpGVWKJ5wWxC9SBkIVluJrHQKNukVCdELJxd0_LoC7RWXhLf7FcfveNRJ2qlM3-RQyfxNPFgWIYi5oGTfdyZhpgKB8UjQ7Gi51RrAWbt41r4LzSHx-GurSsM-qRm/s1600/green+label.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 160px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVf4Nk0gP8303PyrTNOpGVWKJ5wWxC9SBkIVluJrHQKNukVCdELJxd0_LoC7RWXhLf7FcfveNRJ2qlM3-RQyfxNPFgWIYi5oGTfdyZhpgKB8UjQ7Gi51RrAWbt41r4LzSHx-GurSsM-qRm/s320/green+label.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5550636257985167490" /></a><br />Now por those following my postings on the book op pace, you will know that poor Gossip Aiya hau been marooned on roop por last few weeks with dam curse op a wipe as whole house hau got the plooded por the rains. raining cats and dogs and all sorts of wild animals only. <br /><br />Anyway, suddenly one day rain istop! Now por two days I waited still on roop to see ip this was what they coll optical illushun. Then i realise not illushuning me at ol but acutally rain istop. So came down and istarted cleaning house. Ol pots and pans gone in ploods, but most upsetting thing por Gossip Aiya is whole licker collecshun gone as almeira has pollen. 3 botals op Mendis gone. 2 bothals Lion extra istrong gone. Ol that is ok but bothal op Green Label Nondi Dawid gawe me prom Dutipree gone!! Aiyoooooo. Like old saying goes, "water water euriwheres but not a drop to drink." <br /><br />Anyway bloody hard work cleaning house. But whenewer I am taking break to bend over and wipe sweat with sarong, dam wipe coming and iscolding "Here wat is this! such a big oaf you are but when it comes to doing housework you are as useless as a mongoose in a bakery." then she kicking my backside and shouting por me to get back to work. Apter three solid hours op this torment I had enup. So now I am back on roop. Wipe is looking por me but she will not think I am here tee hee hee<br /><br />In other news, it seems Great and Noble King hau gone to country op Great and Noble Queen to giu ispeech only to come back with tail between legs. (Gossip aiya not pully underistanding this saying, as where else does one expect one's tail to be ip not between legs)<br /><br />Anyways, apparently ispeech was named apter Kings paworite comedy film, and was coll "how to lose prends and imprison people". Unportunately there was big hoo haa and ispeech was colled opp as there was fears of someone throwing shoe or sock or other warious pieces of apparel at King. Poor King was pollowed by a mob euriwheres shouting mean things. Even peoples protesting outside SriLankan airlines oppice holding obsene signs like "Nashunal Carrier, remove Nashunal Cariya prom this country". Amidst ol this King ended up being trapped in hotel - at least if it was nice place then no harm, but onerable King has tried to save tax dollars by staying in some third class rest house coll "The Dorchester". Sin only.<br /><br />Anyways now can hear wipe isnoring. It sound like walrus with sore throat. Must take chance to islowly climb down and run to licker istore and replenish supplies op the coconut water. Wish me luck!<br /><br />Dishum dishum<br />Gossip AiyaGossip Aiyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04409756781051399561noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5927479260528640667.post-50866461071887086212010-11-13T09:24:00.000-08:002010-11-13T09:28:40.967-08:00IS no time like plood time<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKl5Z4MaRHvu0zPphxg0nERRLfVFHbvzR0xy3t5uWhfIthp9EsAIS2IOYHGnZCKgWreeroEYLG1t09Nwe2PfeHkommribkt4hC4YeFdVY27b3ZKeUDoBuhVV1y43wHBwfj0tnkU8tCLlRy/s1600/x350.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 263px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKl5Z4MaRHvu0zPphxg0nERRLfVFHbvzR0xy3t5uWhfIthp9EsAIS2IOYHGnZCKgWreeroEYLG1t09Nwe2PfeHkommribkt4hC4YeFdVY27b3ZKeUDoBuhVV1y43wHBwfj0tnkU8tCLlRy/s320/x350.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5539086811585112530" /></a><br />One fine day Vengaskar came, Another fine day gavaskar came, recently tendulkar came, but none of the bus*teds knew how to play the game. Today some clown called Sammy has come. The glorious cricketing nation of rajapakistan who hau recently beaten the kankaroo in its own jungular habitat so hard that they porgot how to jump, are coming back home to play some half witted lilliputs who smoke mari juana don’t wosh their hairs or backsides and call themselves west indians.( see even when a team other than india are coming to play cricket we call them Indians) For ol gossip aiya knows our buggers will go, captain with his new Jamaican accent and ol and will get hammered by these pool due to medical condishun known as overconfidenshi-itis. But that is ol depends on if they can get the gol cricket ground prom under the sea in time por the match to istart. In the very mean time oll the culumbo buggers getting very excited that black mans are here. Now gossip aiya is op very pair cumplextion but that dam fool isuru malli upcourse looks like he has pollen inside the bread bakery oven. So dark that even black man may in his funny language say “daaaaang homies youse is is blacks” anywhose some nice ladies come and wonting to putting pictures with this dam platypus-bottomside look alike man thinking he is prom said cirikate teams and even putting hiki hiki laughing while he was touching their backsides. Gossip aiya would like to say isuru malli is not available por comment putting as he has gone into public toilet house and not come back out. One can only assume he is “white woshing’ the walls. <br /><br />In other news king is going to be re crowned for his second kingship. Fortunately recenent rain istopped or his holiness pirst tewrms would be king of rajapakistan second term king of rajapakispool. Like vennice but ismelly. But portunately rain istop and I hau been able to come down prom my roop. Not so portunately my buttocks now have like wavy wavy waves prom sitting on wavy wavy tin roop por too long. I wonder ip tomorrow morning the motions also will be waving.<br />Today short article cos not hau electricities. Gossip aiya very rarely putting serious but I must say please. Euen ip the woter has gone down and you don’t see the amudeys op poor buggers like me ploating many people have lost eurithing they owned. ip you can help please do otherwise in the coming days you will see me draiuing tree wheel in my birthday suit cos only saron has been woshed ( or I have given to wipe to cover her uglies)<br /><br />Dishum Dishum<br /><br />Gossip Aiyah!Gossip Aiyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04409756781051399561noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5927479260528640667.post-76623180193223825062010-09-26T00:59:00.000-07:002010-09-26T01:44:48.895-07:00By royal (dis)appointment<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVK_6rFZmNq3X4NSx_iyaWx4NwwBm-Cjbl_MYjC5985xZR98JGj7WWYsWPZVTZRCnJeNa359whByieus5wh6E5y1wuGnbgrpOSy7CFKS4u8taBKn19aro9IFBXqI4mBDAo6aJtHxg_NYWn/s1600/commonwealth-games-2010.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 192px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVK_6rFZmNq3X4NSx_iyaWx4NwwBm-Cjbl_MYjC5985xZR98JGj7WWYsWPZVTZRCnJeNa359whByieus5wh6E5y1wuGnbgrpOSy7CFKS4u8taBKn19aro9IFBXqI4mBDAo6aJtHxg_NYWn/s320/commonwealth-games-2010.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5521139978826171266" /></a><br />Now Gossip Aiya hau been reading with the much amusemant about these "common wealth games". It happening this time in soththa chapathi land abowe glorious nashun op Rajapakistan. Pirst op ol, Gossip Aiya not underistanding wat the bloody hell these games are anyway. It is like the poor in-bred disabled cousin op the Olympic games. Only suddha Queen-lauing countries can take part. Also ol countries that Queen came and took ower during what is coll "colonisashun" period (ip you want to know more about this colonisashun istories talk to colonial cusins they will tell you eurithing). So basically Queen hau told these countries like Rajapakistan "here now I know we came and took ower your land, made you ol work por us, stole all your crops, did dirty things with ol your local village womans and ol these things por many years. Sorry ah. How about we allow you eury few years to come and jump ower sticks and run in circles with us suddhas? Supertop, you poor brown buggers will enjoy no?" <br /><br />Dam hooligan only this Queen. They colling this "common wealth games" also. What bloody common wealth. These poor pellows prom places like Kiribati and ol hau to sell their house only to buy air ticket while these other buggers prom the New Zealand and the Ostralia coming ismiling ismiling with pancy cameras and designer clothes. In iswimming contests olso these buggers hauing state op the art pull body suits while some joker prom Samoa in next lane wearing a leaf around mambalams only.<br /><br />Anyways, point op todays article is not to shout about Queen. It is to tell that Queen is dam istupid. Out op alllllll the countries in this so coll common wealth areas, why did they choose Chapathi-land to host games? What in gods name was that old womans thinking? Wearing big hats and crowns ol these years must hau impaired her mental abilities. Imagine one day she sitting on big chair and thinking "now there is a big country pull op one billion dirty, sweaty, stinky homa buggers, that send out channa masala prom backside on the bloody streets only without going to lat room like civilised peoples. I say, why not get these nincompoops to organise global isporting event por thousands op athletes? Sha what an idea!" Now op course Queen realises what a bad mistake that was. Only worst mistake than that was when Sanga bowled that cabbage-headed joker Isuru Udana in that famouse over in twenty twenty pinal against Pakistan when Shahid Apridi gawe him such a spanking that his arse was red por two weeks.<br /><br />Anyways, apparantly these Indian clowns hau spent more money on this event than the Beijing and London Olympics and ewen Pootboll World Cup. And por what? The houses por athletes are in a worse state than my wipe's uncle's abandoned shack in Ussapitiya. Ewen the rats and cockroaches peel disgusted to liu there. In one house the false ceiling had collapse suddenly. Apparently builder had said "no matter, it was false one no?" Dam pool. They hau built big bridge to stadium, that olso kaput. There olso some bugger has said "is ok, main thing is the istadium hau not collapse". That is true...hau not collapsed yet! <br /><br />And with ol this tompoolery, games is istarting next week. Our pellows prom Rajapakistan olso taking part. Gossip Aiya thinking that Noble King should write latter to Queen. Latter should say like this - "Hallo Queen. This is King. I know there is biiig problams going on in New Delhi. Why don't ol you buggers come to Rajapakistan por games instead? We can hold games in Shalika isports ground and athletes can liu in Bambalapitiya flats. I can send Mihin Air plane to London olso to pick up you and your big-eared son ip you want to attend." Hopepully that will work. <br /><br />But ip Queen not accepting, my adwice to our athletes is better to istay home. No point trawelling to such third world countries and hau a false ceiling poll on top of head. At least in Rajapakistan you can see white van coming prom top of road so you hau time to run.<br /><br />Dishum dishum<br />Gossip AiyaGossip Aiyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04409756781051399561noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5927479260528640667.post-2212477093986156762010-07-10T14:59:00.001-07:002010-07-11T02:03:56.755-07:00poot bool pever<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggcQ-JQ5X22Mqg_9OgR2yjC4pX5iH02To9QNl5HiEIERM0051Yk0Q4HYslifc0IeTDqNghmzZ_A_gb3w4wsAEjimDCYpdYmo45oWCLgw2JTGX-oIor2a5pRIKHjJSgbsfDrwEfRXh9AmpX/s1600/Funny_Soccer_Images.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 242px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggcQ-JQ5X22Mqg_9OgR2yjC4pX5iH02To9QNl5HiEIERM0051Yk0Q4HYslifc0IeTDqNghmzZ_A_gb3w4wsAEjimDCYpdYmo45oWCLgw2JTGX-oIor2a5pRIKHjJSgbsfDrwEfRXh9AmpX/s320/Funny_Soccer_Images.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5492571649158813058" /></a><br />Bodu ammo! So this is ol very busy time por Gossip Aiya. I am building roop in house. Some ismarty pants peoples might ask ‘here gossip aiya did you not hau roop ol this time?” Answer very simple. My roop hau gone on walk. Now gossip aiya poor man liu in simple house with roop made from tin. Tin mean not like araliya tin malu but tin sheet. When it is raining tin making din. Sounding like lead drummer op papara band getting excited and doing dirty things to drum with stick (drumstick not other stick). Dam curse only. When I am hauing hangower it is giuing such a headache I hau to go outside and sit in the dam rain only and wait. Only good thing about these unseemly noises emanating prom said roop is that cannot here wipe yelling at me, which is sound like cat being strangled with wire while doing unmentionable things to lady cat (soemtime called pussy cat but no need to be too much). <br /><br />Anyway one day rain and wind wery the istrong. These times good por Gossip Aiya becos lot op business prom ol the dam pools that walk around without umberellas in monsoon season. Olso good por Gossip Aiya becos when nice ladies putting hire in rain, sometime back seat op tree wheel resembling "wet t-shirt contest" in the america they showing on websites which ask me ip i am over 18. The wery niiice. That day op course not so nice when Gossip Aiya came home to see roop gone. Wipe icolding and telling "see what happens when you try and be too ismart and put roop by yourself instead op colling baas! Such a cheap bugger I hau newer met in my lipe. Dam useless pello you cannot ewen tie your shoe laces how can you fix a roop? This time get a baas to come and fix" <br />So to be building this roop gossip aiya need lot money. Which not hau. But luckily this time of year Colombo nighty party lipe very busy. Ol these batta buggers hau come from par par away places ( not par par away like in movie “shak”, olthough some bugger do looking lot like that bugger only) with accents that sound like a buppalo trying to sing sunil saantha songs and clothes that look like what a paint baas have throw away. Some op these clowns euwen wearing sunny mirrors on their eyeses known as ‘shades’ even in the night time. Haio don’t know what to tell so I shut up my muoth and take them where ever they are wanting. Better drunk buggers going sapely in tree wheel than trying to put driwe and getting copped and hauing to donate towards the ‘policemans double distilled coconut arrack party fund’. So lot of hire day and night no time to put bog even let alone write blog.<br /><br />On top op that poot bol is happening. I am not under ishtanding this game or why ol the pellows in columbo getting so excited. Rajapakistan not even playing in this world cup! Some soththa isport only with some homas with long hair running around. Then when someone coming close to put a hallo, they polling on ground like they hau been giwen knockout punch by john cena. Only explanashun is that other bugger had eaten some nice garlic curry with onion sambol and had put nice barp in pace. Anyway ol these pellows in Colombo jumping up and down supporting these jokers. Even isuru malli come to me and say he is supporting this team. He tried to say the name and ended up biting his tongue and displacing his jaw bone at the same time. He wrote it down on piece of paper and name was ‘corte d’ vor’ - luckily I did not try to pronounce or same thing would hau happun. Only thing I know about them are that they are a bunch of dark buggers running around in bright oraange uniform which making them look like the pettah boys ganssi club.<br /><br />On top op ol this, king ispin bowler is retire prom the crickate this week. No doubt he has seen how the pighting cock suddenly going prom one Montero to twenty Montero in one month and tinks political much more better than putting tacktical time out in cirikate. Gossip Aiya hau olso heard that in great province of matara ruled by said pighting cock, two young people hau been arrest por putting kiss. This is very good. People should not be allow to kiss. Ispecially in the outdoors. Actually even in the indoors no need. It never ends well. Actually gossip aiya not knowing how it is ending to be honest. Kissing wipe will be like falling into a communal commode. Kissing somebody else will be worse as apter wipe finds out she will making sure I will not have the need for a commode ever again. The other day I heard her threaten neighbour apter he accusing wipe op stealing gotukola plant prom their garden, saying ‘puka mahanawa’ (literally translate meaning I will sew your arse) followed by many other creative words best not mentioned in public.<br /><br />In other much more happy news wipe has got flue apter getting wet by sleeping without roop. This time I think it will depinitely kill her. I hau tied coin onto holy tree that her illness is not cured. But just to be 100% sure maybe I should put some rat poison into her luni miris. It will be good use op poison sitting in cupboard as we hau no rats anymore. One rat came to put a look one day, but choked on his own tail apter seeing ugly wipe and died. Apter that no rats. Luckily I hau no tail.<br /><br />I would like to leave you with one very important thought.<br />Age is no barriya below the buriya, but if it is staying down like a barriya, find a couriya tell him to stop eating lawariya and bring you the remadiya. It is true and its blue, your lady will go woo hoo, but for a few hours, you wont be able to put chu.<br /><br />Dishum dishum<br />Gossip AiyaGossip Aiyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04409756781051399561noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5927479260528640667.post-17531731383422156152010-05-02T06:25:00.000-07:002010-05-02T08:17:40.096-07:00Parlimant jokes<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTJbVQ1WX3vIUaN2Ca2btof1M9nwEMJcnpemQJJSJzFjjo8MvkEiNMtvf9Z14GzZzAKVrN74Zcken-M1DZ5hj1jZAFiOBwW7x71kz0bEvam0VwEQKkrfC3uP4rfOaOJjwqrCQmqrB21L0D/s1600/SRILANKA_CROP-1_N96_677093a.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 191px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTJbVQ1WX3vIUaN2Ca2btof1M9nwEMJcnpemQJJSJzFjjo8MvkEiNMtvf9Z14GzZzAKVrN74Zcken-M1DZ5hj1jZAFiOBwW7x71kz0bEvam0VwEQKkrfC3uP4rfOaOJjwqrCQmqrB21L0D/s320/SRILANKA_CROP-1_N96_677093a.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5466686667692639954" /></a><br />Halew and budo ammoo! So last month has been month of great scaryness for gossip aiya and the entire continent of rajapakistan. There hau been many hazards to the health of upstanding young pellows such as mysalp (now when I tell "upstanding" I do not mean under the sarong like upstanding, I know you dirty fellows straight away going under sarong. Chikey.) Anyways, pirst op all there was elecshun. Ip you did not get killed/beaten up/molested/chucked in a well/fed to a dog/raped in the backside or hung nakedly on the town lamppost during the elecshun times you must consider yoursalp wery lucky and calabrate. Thankpully I ascape prom such things. Unthankpully wipe olso ascape. Isuru Malli op course not so lucky. He like big shot told "Gossip Aiya you are pansy to be so afraid. I am not iscared op these goons they cannot do anything to me" and went around Colombo wearing green aliya cap. He was not so big shot the next day when some minister's gangsies caught the bugger and made him walk through nugegoda meat market wearing nothing but that cap to cover his own meat market.<br /><br />So anyways elecshun over and now no more watching free tv for gossip aiya. Ol our poolish ministers think that the way to get vote is to tie a TV onto a van or somebodies building and drive around Colombo so that people can watch while they sit in traffic jams for some bigger minister to go and pass moshuns (not the loose kind but the parliament kind). This wery istupid. As ip peoples are so silly to wote por them just becos they can watch Malusoy adwerts while waiting at juncshun. Ip that were the case, Abans showrooms owner only would be winning with most preferable wotes. <br /><br />So anyways onerable and noble King is winning because of some land slide. Not sure how that works but that is what they say on king tv (formarly knowns as the roopavahini or the harpic throwers media corporation.) Anyways now King is olso Finance Minister, Depence Minister, Ports and Aviations Minister AND Highways Minister. He might as wall take ol other main ministries and then he can hau cabinet meetings by himsalp while putting dump in toilat (although poor seceratary will hau to hold nose and take minutes). Fowzie hau been giwen Ministry op Disaster Management. Gossip Aiya think this should be giwen to Nodhakin as he hau had more than enup experiance in disasters. Son of king (prince)and state herb olso won and Dr Dutugemunu himselp has been put in charge of media. Now he can go and throw harpic and other heavy objects on the heads of euribodies who threw stones/red paint/harpic/beetle spit/used condoms at him 2 years when he went to put part in TV stashun. <br /><br />In addition to this, pighting cock olso win! Now close pollowers will know that pighting cock is nick name gossip aiya hau given for great opening batsman from 20 years ago (who is still playing in team to giu others moral support). Hopepully he wont go to parliament and try to play too many big shots because we olready hau many attacking batsmans inside there. He hau to be carepul or king will bowl a doosra and get him out before the power play is even over.<br /><br />While ol this is happaning in royal kingdom op Rajapakistan, the dam sudhdha buggers sitting in their comfortable chairs eating macdonalds complaining saying there is ashes euriwhere. What fools I don’t know! Ip they want to get rid of the ashes tell them to organize a cricket match between England and Australia. Whoever who wins will take the ashes and go.<br /><br />Dishum Dishum<br /><br />Gossip Aiya .Gossip Aiyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04409756781051399561noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5927479260528640667.post-52418709233695376112010-03-28T09:46:00.001-07:002010-03-29T06:31:29.316-07:00eh? Khan?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh0OOcsv37HSfQZa0sMMukLAHi8TtbQKua6GKXM4WhIVEaIQixo8Ss5r3UW2GLKa2fegJAJhk22WgJJKCZ8CyFuNSGn4vn89q1c3WerhUW6sQ5WFlaHpDEPRrySZJPBBFI4JS33J_uDX6X/s1600/Akons-video-for-Sexy-Chic-001.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 192px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh0OOcsv37HSfQZa0sMMukLAHi8TtbQKua6GKXM4WhIVEaIQixo8Ss5r3UW2GLKa2fegJAJhk22WgJJKCZ8CyFuNSGn4vn89q1c3WerhUW6sQ5WFlaHpDEPRrySZJPBBFI4JS33J_uDX6X/s320/Akons-video-for-Sexy-Chic-001.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5453736725169625730" /></a><br />These days ol ismall girls and boys crying crying in tuk tuk telling "Aiyoooo A Khan not coming A Khan not coming". Who is this Pakistani joker euribodies is talking about, I thought. So I asked Isuru Malli who this A Khan bugger is and why he is hauing problems coming. Then I heard this bugger is big hippity hoppity istar in the istates singing songs about doing dirty unmenshunable things ol the time. He was going to come to Rajapakistan olso but our champions in Porin Oppice hau said "here here you shall not enter our belowed island. We do not approwe op you singing about dangerous ladies and being disrespectpul to peoples." Olso in one wideo apparantly they hau shown womans in bikinis dancing around Buddha istatue. When I heard that I got wery angry. Who is this Khan donkey making pun op religions? He should be taken to Kandana and tied up and put on railway lines. Punnily enup, Isuru Malli had this wideo on his new mobile so I put a look to see (to see statue, not to see bikini ladies, I am not like that ok), to see this so coll "statue" is in background por not ewen one second. Pans can see pictorial. Now Gossip Aiya hau to make a pew comments about this -<br /><br />1)Pirst op ol, apparantly this was pound out by some monks. Now I hau to ask, what were they doing looking at these type op wideos in the first place? This song is coll "Sexy Chick", what did they think it would be, a Bairaha adwert? This wery fishy.<br /><br />2)Second op ol, what kind of banana-less jockistrap was able to notice some white looking statue olllllll the way in the back when they were some pirst class patta specimans in pront dancing around in next to nothing? Ewen when I was looking por istatue I didn't see because eyes were drawn to other places. It is natural thing. Whoever managed to notice istatue is obviously op the homosapian wariety and they should be likewise tied and put on railway tracks. Or sent to Opposishun Leaders house por pun time.<br /><br />3)Third op ol, cannot be sure this is ewen istatue op Buddha. It look more like those white istorm trooper buggers prom those Istarry Wars pilms. Or maybe it is punny shaped cloud. I think this bent bugger is olso blind bugger. Better take him to optishuns bepore taking to railway tracks. ip taking to opasichun leaders house no need optician.<br /><br />4)Porth op ol, I am not ewen conwinced that his songs are about dirty unmenshunable things. I went on googly and researched I pound song about our wery own local beverage! It coll ismak that. Chorus talling -<br /><br />"Ismak that, ol on the ploor<br />Ismak that, giu me some more<br />Ismak that, till you get sore <br />Ismak that, aiyooooo"<br /><br />This not dirty song. This talling about some clumsy bugger who going to Perera and sons and asking old man working in shop por smak. Then he dropping it on ploor. Then he asking shop man por another one. And then he dropping that one and the next one and the next one until poor old shop man's back is sore prom bending down to clean broken botals. then man is getting angry and telling 'aiyoooo' and going. What is so dirty about that? I think these so coll "monks" who made big scene throwing istones and shouting about this should get in their E class mersedes bens cars and go back to parlimant and shout at each other and leawe us in peace without making euribody else upset that they cannot hear Khan sing. They acting more like monkeys than monks. I cannot describe them only without being disrespectpul. The real monks are too busy doing good deeds and pracitising their religion to care about some pakistani joker singing about our sopt drinks!<br /><br />But now never mind. Our king is olways thinking op us so therefore he has asked davit bakham to come and get ayuruweydha treatment instead. Por those of you who do not know this is great istar prom movie bent like bekham. so now instead of going por A khan concert euribodies can go and see vedamahhataya rubbing oil and istraightening davit<br /><br />Dishum dishum<br />Gossip AiyaGossip Aiyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04409756781051399561noreply@blogger.com30tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5927479260528640667.post-85159999479818087622010-03-20T16:00:00.000-07:002010-03-20T16:01:29.832-07:00I am olso poetick, so I hau ritten limerick!There was a nice girl prom Padukka<br />who sported a wery nice puka<br />with short iskirt and heels<br />she'd stand inside Keells<br />Looking to all like a hooker<br /><br />A pellow came up to inquire<br />How much she would charge for a hire<br />She asked "What do you mean"<br />And made quite a scene <br />And caused the poor man to perspire<br /><br />"No no" the man said, "you misheard<br />I asked you where you got that curd<br />I've looked all around<br />but none I hau found<br />So thought that I might put a word."<br /><br />"ahhh" she replied "that's okay<br />now iscuse me I'm going to pay"<br />but while waiting in line<br />he slapped her behind<br />and ran out the door and away!Gossip Aiyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04409756781051399561noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5927479260528640667.post-410441625986584542010-03-02T09:30:00.001-08:002010-03-02T10:11:38.636-08:00We hau Angoda, they hau Vancouver<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIwGBfx5pAQQhhUJzrgfGrNCgLbc1k8Y0EBjHzPn-EvVI6yXYYAn2RQu6wVb-ZtiuwrUtWGW9VFD-a4QUZG7rLz7J8H3JwKPeKAj2qJ8oElAY3mdBI9pUvFhzqdgDpHOgCCBY8EakCHh8w/s1600-h/2.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 289px; height: 166px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIwGBfx5pAQQhhUJzrgfGrNCgLbc1k8Y0EBjHzPn-EvVI6yXYYAn2RQu6wVb-ZtiuwrUtWGW9VFD-a4QUZG7rLz7J8H3JwKPeKAj2qJ8oElAY3mdBI9pUvFhzqdgDpHOgCCBY8EakCHh8w/s320/2.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444099416008866930" /></a><br />Halaw! as is the customary custom when hauing pree time, Gossip Aiya yesterday went to Nondi Dawids. Apter a while i got bored talking to that nondi bugger and putting on televishun box. ammata udu! it was like that one time i switch on tv and saw some ourang outangs monkeys on some nashunal geografic channel doing things that they should definitely not hau shown on tv. In other words I saw King Kong going "bing bong" with his ding dong. Anyway that is another istory.<br /> <br /><br />So what Gossip Aiya saw on the kingly channel of rupawahini was ewen worse. Pirst op ol it was shock (not electric shock but "huta pochchi" shock) to me that they were not showing wideo op king going around waving hands in the air like he is directing a plane to park at katunayake). Instead op noble king, on the tv they were showing some clowns who are looks like pathola pruits dressed in multi colour penguit suits jumping around in the isnow ol excited, just like "cat" when i show it rubber ball (pans will know gossip aiya hau dog name "cat"). I ask Nondi Dawid "yako! mona magullak dha mey? (what pray kind sir is this?)" I thought maybe some white man kissmass mowies when joblass white buggers and their childrans going into isnow and throwing balls at each other and singing some "falalalala" and waiting. <br /><br />Anyways Nondi toll me this is not mowie but is isport colled "Winter Olimpicks". When I ask what the hell this "Winter Olimpicks" is he telling that once eury four years, ol joblass idiot peoples in suddha countries hau this big convenshun in some cold place where they get together and play in this big playground out op isnow and ice por one month. Then other buggers come and film and put ol ower world so that ol the fellow crackpots who could not appord the plane ticket to go can watch on televishun box and wait. And they coll this "isport" so that they feel some sense op achiewement and they get some medal por being better at playing in the isnow than the rest op the other clowns. I wonder, what kind of salp respecting man woman or animal would chooses do dance around in dam cold places like north pole until there flag pole is in no shape to grease any hole. They must be either the wery istupid or the wery drunk or both. But becose many peoples are learning about world prom Gossip Aiya bloggage, I thout must find out and tell pans more about this. So I put a googly search (while searching por kumaris) and pound some information.<br /><br /> <br />Apter reading googly, I hau to say this "Winter Olimpicks" bollocks is the biggest waste op time and ispace in the isporting arenas since that soththa Kapugedera monkey started playing por our nashunal team. You know how when you are the ismol batta and some uncle coming and asking "Putha what do you want to do when you become big" you say something like doctor, lowyer man, mowie istar, or maybe cirickate player. In my case tree wheel driver. But in what kind op pruit cake lolipaddle would tell "Ah yes uncle now that you menshun, when I become big I want to go into the freezing isnow, put on tight suit so ol my mambalams and kolikutto ol outisde por whole world to see that they hau become rasins and tooth pick in the cold, go to top op hill, stand on 2 s-lon pipes and go down at 60 miles an hour hopefully not hitting any trees or dogs or potholes or pictures of the noble king on the way down"??? There are many other equially retarded isports in this Olimpicks nonsense, and I thought I would describe some op the particularly brainlass ones with you dear pans.<br /><br /> 1)bobbing isled<br /><br />Now i know moment you are hearing bobbing you are thinking down the drain thoughts, but this isport basically there is a tree trunk with ol the tree inside being taken out and only outside is there, colled isled. this is put on slippery ice islope and then soem soththa buggers push this thing till it going fast, and then JUMPING IN while it is going. we opcourse dont hau to go and preeze in the isnow to do ol that. we can just go and try to get into the private bus. Now anyways isled is going round and round and getting paster and paster, and this cart hauing no wheels but same s-lon pipe like things on bottom as par as i could see no brakes. These bloody jokers leaning prom side to side to make it turn only. I thought these suddhas are the ismart buggers, but ewen in the Rajapakistan we are hauing better system to turn. It colled the ISTEERING WHEEL. Maybe I will recomand to send man prom tree wheel garage in Maradana to go and fix one in the bobbing sled so those buggers don't hau to die.<br /><br /> 2)curling<br /><br />Now in this so coll isport basically these buggers are hauing a broom like thing and sweeping sweeping some istone in straight line on some ice. In Rajapakistan we do same thing but it is coll "cleaning house". These sudhdha buggers think they are such big shots that they know how to use a broom that they deserve a medal around their neck. Ip they come here and see euri old ammi doing better than them they might not peel like such big shots. Bloody poodles only the lot op them. (By the way any peminist womans reading bloggage, let me claripy not only ammis should be doing the brooming. In our house por instance I do ol brooming actiwities. Wipe won't touch the broom or broomistick ewen ip ou know what I mean.) <br /><br /> 3)Two man luge<br /><br />Now this is most silly and ambarrassing isport I hau ewer seen in my long lipe. It seems to be a isport well suited to the gentlemans who like to clean exhaust pipes (in pact maybe apter Nodhakin pinally retires prom the politics he can represent country in this isport along with that islimy bugger Ashan at Aasiri Salon who takes par too much time applying cream on my pace apter I go there por a nice shawe). Anyway in this isport, man gets on isled and lies on his back, and another man lies ON TOP op this bugger olso on his back, and they go hammering down same track they do bobbing isled lying on top op each other. hopefully only isled is bobbing and private parts too cold to go exploring. otherwise pinis! The way I see it is an excuse to get away with doing these homosapian actiwities and hau peoples cheering you while you do. I looked wery closely and eury so opten the bugger on the bottom mowes his hips this way that way. Maybe he is using his gear istick to change gears.<br /><br /><br />Anyway, Gossip Aiya's advice por the day is ip after wotching this nonsence your childrans olso wont to go and putting curling and bobbing isled, tie them to the village well and make them watch the old ladies bathing. that will teach them.<br /><br />Dishum dishum<br />Gossip AiyaGossip Aiyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04409756781051399561noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5927479260528640667.post-82560373865758841362010-02-01T22:23:00.000-08:002010-02-01T23:26:02.677-08:00Nalla Idirikaalam!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-I4n0ydubiYJ3NUXcChydfW-2FfvvrqSLb4vl6i9nz3F3zbeaU8eeh_gBCRN_RCOccJ0HAB9XV8mBJRUFtqr66dwP4IAj4ArqheTTW3B8A7-j-wfRE9JNENs_UC_IvURawg2GC2PkMGQd/s1600-h/fonscap.bmp"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 224px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-I4n0ydubiYJ3NUXcChydfW-2FfvvrqSLb4vl6i9nz3F3zbeaU8eeh_gBCRN_RCOccJ0HAB9XV8mBJRUFtqr66dwP4IAj4ArqheTTW3B8A7-j-wfRE9JNENs_UC_IvURawg2GC2PkMGQd/s320/fonscap.bmp" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5433541048098095394" /></a><br />Pirst op ol pans I hau to apologize prom my looong absence on bloggage. This constipashun has been due to a pew reasons. Unportunately (due to some reasons I cannot esplain due to fear op my bollocks being hung drawn and quartered) my sensashunal, unprecedented (or in this case un-Presidented) and inspirashunal politickal career was cut short. I wish I could tell ol pans about this but ip I do, then koli kuttu olso might get cut short. Then how to put hand party?<br /><br />So I hau been in hiding in my house backside (because we are not liu near lake to go to lakeside) and waiting like a neurotic mongoose por the last month or so, watering my gotukola plants with choo (yellow water) euritime white wan going past gate. But now apter elecshun no need por me to be iscared, becos ol white wans are busy going and rounding up ol supporters op swan candidate. While on the subject, I hau heard that apparantly royal pamily last week has banned swan prom plying anywhere. That op course is wery istupid thing to do, ewen uneducated hoodlum like Isuru Malli knows that swans cannot ply. It is what they coll "plight-less bird" like the kiwipruit bird, the ostrich and the orangutan. (In this case op course our plight-less bird olso turned out to me pight-less. But kuru kuru of course not less)<br /><br />Anyway, in light op ol the resent happanings in Rajapakistan, Gossip Aiya thought he must giu pans some adwice, otherwise they may olso get a wisit prom white van and get whisked opp to the Moneragala District and tied to a light pole in the middle of an empty paddy field ol night por crows to land and put fekal matter on head (like what happened to Elecshun Commmishuner on elecshun night. It olso explains the severe case op baldness he hau on his head). Olso might get istruk by the lightening (these days patrol istrike, tea flucker istrike, doctor istrike, so why not lightning istrike olso). <br /><br />Anyway this adwice shall be known as the "Gossip Aiya Survival Programme", or GASP. The motto can be "Pollow GASP or you will soon be gasping por breath" or something like that (don't insult it is a work in progress). It reads as pollows -<br /><br />1)The accepted greeting when meeting an acwaintance on istreet or in local watering hole (public toilat) is no longer "Kohomadha Machang", "Aiya/Malli how how" or "Ado keri balla thopi kohedha hitiye mey dawas tikey". Instead one must use the salutashun "Jayawewa", or in more formal settings (like Hilton toilat) "Obata Subha Anaagathayak Wewa". Pailure to do so will result in grawe suspishun, or first class tickat to grawe.<br /><br />2)Paste picshure op noble king on back op tree wheel or pour wheel. Gossip Aiya suggests either the close-up op the pace showing mustash in ol its glory, or the pull length one with King raising hands abowe head and joining palms together like he is getting ready to diwe into Otters Swimming Pool. Can olso hau one op king making obsene pinger gesture.<br /><br />3)Ip you are business bugger do ol dealings in pictures op royal family. Example. Olready kings pace on 1000 rupee note, then maybe u can create note using pace op state goat and Italian herb for 500 rs. Then maybe picture of river flower por 100 and rest op the royal family in whichever way you choose suitable.<br /><br />4)Send message to euribody in oppis (or ol ischool prends ip you are a batta) inwiting to "Elechun Wictory Party". I suggest a blue theme. Eurione can wear blue and come, can hau in either Blue Elepant, Blue Lagoon, or newly reopened Blue Lepard club. Can drink Blue Label eat blue cheeses, and put Blues music (or ip you like to dance can put the Rytham and the Blues olso). Ip you are a group op teenage randy buggers, can watch Blue movies and wait. Ip not hau monies and no prends olso, then look at blue iskies and wait.<br /><br /><br />Ip you follow GASP without fail, I can say with 100% certainty that you will be pree prom any adducshuns. However there is istill a small chance that in spite op all this, white wan may come por you. In such cases, Gossip Aiya cannot help you. However, I suggest you pollow Isuru Malli's appendix to GASP, the "Last GASP Escape Plan", in which it is adwised that you lipt sarong and hook it barefoot down the road, shrieking like 4 year old girl. <br /><br />Good luck, and Obalata Subha Anaagathayak Wewa!<br /><br />Dishum dishum<br />Gossip AiyaGossip Aiyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04409756781051399561noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5927479260528640667.post-76750852146007499912009-12-05T05:13:00.000-08:002009-12-05T13:03:04.847-08:00Clash of the tash<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuSvU33W9BQxw7CDwJouwb1yqEEk6ORoO9k_FcMbfsgiDNpTXf_zmcr1aR8wCIrPaByuhSZo-qHi18f3IzSjpWl7iCV9BtPMhlOsuBTGDxPsgJPmhZ9AhKcSVJcxoaTcq3gLud11eLKp10/s1600-h/tash.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuSvU33W9BQxw7CDwJouwb1yqEEk6ORoO9k_FcMbfsgiDNpTXf_zmcr1aR8wCIrPaByuhSZo-qHi18f3IzSjpWl7iCV9BtPMhlOsuBTGDxPsgJPmhZ9AhKcSVJcxoaTcq3gLud11eLKp10/s320/tash.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5411860488277929154" /></a><br />HALEW! Now these days ewen more than normal, euriwhere euriplace you looking you seeing pace op Noble and Onerable King. Only way not to see pace is to close eyes. But I try that once but realised this is bad idea, espeshally while driuing tree wheel. When I open eyes tree wheel going istraight towards soththa Walls ice cream bicycle man ismiling and looking at sky. Ip I hit the bugger op course he not so Jumbo Jolly. He might even put his cornetto in my chocolate temptation. But on plus side it might istop that dam annoying tune coming prom bicycle megapone, you the one no? I am the sure these STF buggers using that tune only playing again again in cell op prisoners until they conpess whatever they did (or most time what they didn't do)and they are sentenced to a lipe of picking up soaps in jails.<br /><br />Anyway back to the point. Gossip Aiya thinking too many picshures op Kings pace all ower Colombo. Ewen in dreams seeing this man (other day por example king telling in deep dream voice for me to cut vuttakka). Anyway so other day gossip aiya go on hire Horton Place juncshun and there is enormous full length cutout op king. I'm sure pans hau seen, how not to see. It are so big the kings shoe is size of cherry QQ car.maybe can see prom top op Piduruthalagala olso. Pirst time I saw I got iscared and almost had accidant (same soththa walls man. dam nipple flicker pollowing me euriwheres). The cutout is op King looking into distance putting the regal looks and putting pointing pinger in obscene way at what seems to be Horton Place Indian Oil Patrol Shed. I think king is not liking the indian chapatis coming and puting patrol shed in our country apter what happen in cirickate match. Or maybe he telling his securities peoples to quickly take jeeps and mercedes cars and go and pill tanks bepore patrol tax goes up again and chapatis get angry and go on the istrike!<br /><br />Another thing last week I put hire with some poss looking Colombo 7 bugger. Although hire only 200 rupees (bargain rate por taking prom top op Rosmead place to bottom op Rosmead place as he was taking dog por a walk. bugger lept dog to get run ower by walls man and got in tree wheel. i dont kno why) Anyways this man like big shot not hauing the ismall bills. So he giuing what he said was 1000 rupee bill to me to giu change. But this not 1000 rupee bill this something else, like child's drawing on note size paper. I telling "here sir I know you are poss Colombo 7 bugger and I am poor tree wheel driwer but are you taking me por a pool? What is this bollocks thing you are trying to pass opp as 1000 rupee bill? Giu me green looking bill with peacocks running euriwhere, not this rubbish" but he talling this is new bill. When I called ower passing broom salesman he olso telling that this is new one(now pans don't laup at me por not knowing this, I am poor man no. I not seeing such big bills usually). So later when I get home I take wallat and look at this new bill. I hau to say I hau newer seen such an ugly looking note in my lipe.( i pans will know i ahu seen my wipe recently olso). I hau seen porin notes olso (like when I took suddha bugger prom rushiya and other wierd places to wisit ladyboy establishmants) ip oll of those ugly notes were puttogether and a cow putting runny excrement on them they istill look better than this. Not only is King's mug on this note as well (putting look like Nodhaking is doing dirty things to him prom behind)but it looks like some colourblind mountain goat has designed it while partaking op illegal substances. There is some ungodly blue green yellow mixed colour like someone has eaten packet op jelly beans and put kabral all ower. Chikey. I am wery ambarassed to call this our nashuns currancy. Better to take Maldivian Rupiaah instead, before ol the members op royal family appear on the notes pointing pingers, picking noses and whatever other ungodly activites.<br /><br />Only one thing I am wondering though. With King's pace euriwhere euriwheres, where is this so coll common candidate?? (Although I think it is wery bad to coll him a common bugger just becos he comes prom village, not like Nodhaking coming prom Fifth Lane) Euribody's talling this man only one who can beat King in upcoming elecshun, but I don't think ewen ip he walked past me in bookshop I would know his pace (ok ok maybe that is lie, I don't go inside bookshops). I think they should put his pace also euriwhere euriwheres so peoples can know who this bugger is. Lauly place to put would be in pront of giant king cut out in hortun place. then it will look like king making obscene pinger gesture to comomon man op opposichun (who olso incidentally hau beards on top op lip to filter the kola kendha bepore drinking. no wonder nodhakin never win even game of hop iscotch or rock paper sissor. he not hau top op lip beards)<br /><br />Anyway ol this talk op elecshuns making Gossip Aiya thinking op running por Hand Party. Maybe I can run with Wickremabahu Karunaratna prom Nashunal Lept Pront as my Prime Minister. He can be my Lept Hand Man. So anyway what do pans think? Should I put a run? I hau some nice policies olso I will detail in next blog. In the meantime I am thinking pans on pacebook group should inwite ol prends so peoples can see my pace euritime they are going online. olso put click on advertisements so i can catch enupp monies to put poster euriwheres. Ip I am getting enup monies maybe can make ewen bigger cut out op me lipting sarong and letting rip nicely prom buttocks, and put next to Horton Place patrol shed so it looking like King has got the ismell and is pointing at me. Good plan no? loan liu the king!<br /><br />Dishum dishum<br />Gossip AiyaGossip Aiyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04409756781051399561noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5927479260528640667.post-81277938791096911752009-11-22T16:56:00.000-08:002009-12-08T11:20:57.882-08:00And the dame ran away with the shoo<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLqkNgnMVe5EfNBujfqgkC0lVJ6C72AdByZ9szkooH9WL5SAmi37kvcaDF-m8FRGi6tCarfkh7ifSfScna_qWl-7-w7tQ3eyjWMJtXZS7VPfhY-4jg0RATSiQ8lqBvXQn00CdPEXUoyRgr/s1600/Barney.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 274px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLqkNgnMVe5EfNBujfqgkC0lVJ6C72AdByZ9szkooH9WL5SAmi37kvcaDF-m8FRGi6tCarfkh7ifSfScna_qWl-7-w7tQ3eyjWMJtXZS7VPfhY-4jg0RATSiQ8lqBvXQn00CdPEXUoyRgr/s320/Barney.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5407097131240495490" /></a><br />Now gossip aiya hau no children (apart prom one son but this son is no longer son to Gossip Aiya apter he took tree wheel one day to go on hire in night when i was the isleeping and some old womans prom germans came por hire to go to beach wadiya, next thing i know he had hooked opp to germanys in old germans womans baggage becos those days the airport security not so the istrict and now is married to old suddhi womans and liuing in the germanys somewhere i don't know where and has not called or sent latter to my latterbox or sent ewen one german dollar in 20 years i am the wery upset when talking about this so will the istop now.) <br /><br />Apter that though the Gossip Aiya hau had the no more childrans. This is dues to many reasons. Pirstly euritimes i am seeing wipe, little gossip aiya is shrivel up into a little bol and go inside and don’t come out por a long time. Secondly i am thinking this world is a too bad place to put a child into. I will tell why. Other day was watching cirickate match and then during lunch break putting surfage of channels. Some suddha childrans show coming with some big purples and greens punny looking dinosor like animal (looking something like mervyn silva) ol the kids calling "Barmy" or something like that. Maybe becos animal is a little mad in the brain areas (olso like mervyn silwa). Anyways this Barmy bugger is teaching these innosent battas very dirty song. Gossip Aiya got the wery oppendad, and por the benefit op good readers, will reproduce said song below. It go like this -<br /><br />Cock a doodle do! <br />What is my dame to do? <br />Till master's found his fiddlingstick, <br />She'll dance without her shoe. <br /><br />Cock a doodle do! <br />My dame has found her shoe, <br />And master's found his fiddlingstick, <br />Sing cock a doodle do! <br /><br />Cock a doodle do! <br />My dame will dance with you, <br />While master fiddles his fiddlingstick, <br />And knows not what to do<br /><br />Now Gossip aiya immediately thinking this is some of that dirty poetry songs they are putting inside the pilm holes at lido and roxy and other dodgy cinemas, but some mahattaya told me this one is childrans nursery song. Ismol batts these days go to monti sori and learn by heart this kind of songs only. This is the wery rong i think, this song wery the innapropriate por the ismall peoples to be singing. ALthough words seem the wery innocent there is wery dirty meaning underneath. I will explain song for ol you dumb buggers who are not understand, werse by werse.<br /><br />Cock a doodle do! <br />What is my dame to do? <br />Till master's found his fiddlingstick, <br />She'll dance without her shoe. <br /><br />Now pirst werse of this song is telling that some woman is removing his shoe until the master sir finds his fiddle stick. All lies only. She is not only removing shoes she is taking off all kinds of garments until the master is noticing a certain uprising in his pants. She isputting a nice istrip show ( like the kind that is happen inside poss nighty clubs in Colombo) por this dirty man<br /><br />Cock a doodle do! <br />My dame has found her shoe, <br />And master's found his fiddlingstick, <br />Sing cock a doodle do! <br /><br />Next werse ofcourse nothing to explain. Master sir has pound his piddleistick and wants the womans to doodle doodle with cock (not chickan cock but other one, no need to explain these things ewen to dumb buggers). What a dirty thing to say. Ip i ever said that to my wipe she wont bother looking for shoes to hit me she will hit me with the sink in the kitchens. Then dam fussy bugger wants the womans to sing also while doodle doodling with his private parts. I hau olways heard it is not good to tolking with your mouth pul but i guess singing is ok.<br /><br />Cock a doodle do! <br />My dame will dance with you, <br />While master fiddles his fiddlingstick, <br />And knows not what to do<br /><br />Last verse opcouse proving this master sir is a bit of a soththa bugger. Apter the womans did ol that dancing and doodle doodling with his middle stump, he could not split the two fielders and send the balls crashing to the boundary boards. Or to use other isporting analogies por readers prom the america, master sir went to ol the bases but didn't know how to hit home run. Soththa bugger was left playing pocket billiards and fiddling with his fiddle stick while dame lauped at master sir, threw shoe at him and danced away to doodle someone else. Should take his good for nothing fiddle istick and send up the rear end of a horse.<br /><br />Now you ol know meaning op song you must protect your childrans and grand childrans prom these songs. This is a white mans plan to ruin our childrans. Don’t send your childrans to iskool. Keep them home and teach them life iskills like driuing tree wheel or plucking coconuts. That ways they will be sape prom ol these vulgar songs they are being teached in iskool.<br /><br />Dishum Dishum<br /><br />Gossip Aiya!Gossip Aiyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04409756781051399561noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5927479260528640667.post-28839273942440684342009-10-27T04:08:00.000-07:002009-10-27T04:26:52.564-07:00Night time is the wrong time<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwjaAdxmD8lF5Jzyf1lT0h__GEzRfld1Bc1CvK8JW9g-FetxIer6I2PvICZnepvyKKwulz_CI_aDZn0c9MMKSAXl0KZmgjelecXbIc-dQDemqB6M94IVuGpwG3gRLjsroXPUgIBBHfTotq/s1600-h/sri39jn.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 215px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwjaAdxmD8lF5Jzyf1lT0h__GEzRfld1Bc1CvK8JW9g-FetxIer6I2PvICZnepvyKKwulz_CI_aDZn0c9MMKSAXl0KZmgjelecXbIc-dQDemqB6M94IVuGpwG3gRLjsroXPUgIBBHfTotq/s320/sri39jn.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5397238069899177922" /></a><br />Now as you ol knowing gossip aiya poor pillow sitting in tree wheel all day with the plys putting plying lesson around my head. Driuing here there euriwhere, isweating in hot sun. Ol this i do to get enup monies so that wipe can eat the pood i take home and tell me that i am good por nothing nut job. Some mens complaining that euriday their wipe giuing them earpul when they coming home in the ewening time. They are dam lucky. My wipe euriday giuing 10 elepant size earpuls only. "Why are you coming late? How come you only brought home 500 rupees today? You think this is some dam joke? What am I supposed to do with 500 rupees, with eurithings so expensiwe? What are we going to eat? Hau you seen the price op piss these days? Op course you don't, whenewer I am asking you to take me to the market you are too busy watching cirickate match or scratching your buttocks and waiting in sarong in chair like King Dutugemunu. I'm sure you don't ewen know how much kilo op rice is. Price op arrack op course I'm sure you know to the cent, dam drunkard. Now giu the money and go prom here!" And on and on like that euriday. Dam devils womans should die of loose motion.<br /><br /><br />Anyways, euriday ewening time, Gossip Aiya wery tired apter putting hire ol day and abuse prom that woman, so happily going under moskito net and putting sleep. But last night, in spite op net, moskitos coming and putting party on my mambalams. Cant hit the buggers olso to get rid op them becos mambalams will get isquashed. So i lat them put party, but then I thout maybe they are dengu moskitos (since I hau hidden buckets op stagnant water in wipes room and cut holes in her moskito net hoping that she gets dengu and kicks the bucket. Not the bucket I put water in but some other bucket I think.) Anyway I got the iscared at thout op getting dengu fewer in the mambalams so thout I would go outside. And then I got idea sinse wipe was nagging about money money money maybe I can go and put hire.<br /><br /><br />At this time many porin and local rich peoples going to nighty clubs op calumbu like san si bar and white horse. These days olso there is one place inside a museum. This nighty club actiwities seem to be pamouse apter ischool actiwities. Gossip Aiya seeing all ismall boise and girls going and coming in those places. Some boy ewen come and ask me por illegal green colour substances. This boy trying to look like big shot with hair gelled up like he put finger in electric socket, and talking on expensiwe mobile pone, but he is ismall batta. I'm sure his mambalams are still safely nesting in istomak region. Anyway I tell him that I do not hau such substances, and that he should go home and read bedtime istory and go to sleep. I must say istaying outside those places, Gossip Aiya sees lots op things that ol the top class culumbo peoples are doing under what is colled the curtain op darkness.<br /><br /><br />One gental man i sow going in with two ladies wearing very ishort skirt. So ishort iskirt Gossip Aiya could see what under jungi she was wearing olso. Even though she is wearing nice cloths and espansiu perfume, rats seem to hau eaten her underjungi prom the sides. Only midal was there both the buttocks outside. Nice white buttocks also. Chickey! Gossip Aiya remember the back in the days when he was in village and paddy parmer used to wear similar under jungi coll amudey and dig holes in the ground. Those pellows olso thought it was very pashionable to dig holes with buttocks out in the open por whole world to see. Uncultured buggers. So anyways this mans going in with two ladies and coming out also with two ladies. Then he comes and gets into my tree wheel and ask me to take him to Duplicashun roads where he wanted to use the services of some soththa bugger istanding on sidewalk, dressed in luminous shorts and a brazier. The bugger wearing the lip istick olso and poking out his buttocks like hashan thilikeratna putting a bat. Although Duplicashun road one way, this bugger depinitely going both ways. Gossip aiya belief that such bugger should be hung upside down in the pettah bus stand and euribodies should collect the snotty prom the nose and paste on them. Walking around waving the buttocks like it is sum pendulum. And these mahattayas olso hau no shame going after these lady boise or whatever it is they are colled.<br /><br /><br />Olso what is happening inside these nighty clubs Gossip Aiya is not knowing. Mahattaya go nona go then mahattaya carry nona out and do unmenshunable things to her in car park and leave nona and go pick up shanty boy whose wagging bum and walking on dulpikashun road. While ol this happening, loud sounds coming prom inside like buggers making buriyani in the raheemas kitchen. Gossip aiya does not know how peoples are paying moneys to go and listen to that. Much better put casat tape of sunil perera telling i don’t know why. <br /><br />But I hear this club lokkas making big money. Maybe I can also put nighty party club. I will coll it "Gossip Aiyas Nighty Party Club". Only selling arrack and playing song by sunil perera and sunplowers. Any 688 or other taxi bugger that comes near by will be shotted and then hunged. Only can come in tree wheel. Soththa buggers who get drunk at my club and go and pick up lady boise shall not be taken in. And pans are wery welcome, come come there is ispeshal 5 % pan discount on kadala and masala vadey at the bar.<br /><br />Dishum dishum<br /><br />Gossip AiyaGossip Aiyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04409756781051399561noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5927479260528640667.post-2437768193384264522009-10-12T07:15:00.000-07:002009-10-12T07:45:19.484-07:00Back door exit<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwIUKNiMch21xA6hp72-Yk2Qp0evbIuuIgmX13TQqRzs54pBmzIwjYgym7t-c_u_xMO8FZW2aPZ224ATQfdDsVGiNRc0_-9hX7IEVBoS0-q1rrpvj8t-YcDpOhVSLhJb_DsAuPShpji63u/s1600-h/engrish-funny-mgmtship.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwIUKNiMch21xA6hp72-Yk2Qp0evbIuuIgmX13TQqRzs54pBmzIwjYgym7t-c_u_xMO8FZW2aPZ224ATQfdDsVGiNRc0_-9hX7IEVBoS0-q1rrpvj8t-YcDpOhVSLhJb_DsAuPShpji63u/s320/engrish-funny-mgmtship.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5391722351650588866" /></a><br />Now last the week in great nashun op Rajapakistan we hau the elecshun. Some ismall elecshun in down south areas, not big big one like one between King and Nodaking. This to elect what they call "Prowinshal Counsillers". These are not VIPs (Very Important Panditheyas) but SHIPs (Shape-ekke Important Panditheyas). These pellos in charge op not big things like army and porin appairs, but things like how many public lat rooms in local train istashun and things like that.<br /><br />Anyway, this elecshun was was big wictory por betel leap party (King's party). So big that all newsreader peoples calling "land islide wictory" (Gossip Aiya not underistanding this, maybe some buggers putting wictory party on hill and one paaaaaat bugger jump up and down on hill and the land istart to islide.) This is the bad news por elepant party peoples. But main reason noone putting the wotes por this party is because soththa leader Nodaking is not hooking off like euribody wanting him to. He istaying around like bad ismell, like when Isuru Malli hauing pried kadala prom galle pace karaththe and coming into my house and letting rip like atom bomb. As I hau said in earlier blog, dippicult por elepant party to win elecshun while this jockstrap is there. Easier por Zimbabwe under 15 side to beat Australia nashunal team in cirickate match. Easier ewen for my hippoppatamus op a wipe to win Miss Uniwerse. So por those who support the elepant party, only way to win is to send this bugger packing, by the hook or by the crook ewen. So Gossip Aiya hauing an idea how to achiewe this.<br /><br />Now Gossip Aiya hearing the gossip that this Nodaking is partial to the male porm. Now this seems wery possible espeshally giwen this pello's history (ip you do not know this read my blog call "misportune pawours the brawe"). Anyway so ip this is true, this is what you hau to do. You must send a nice big istrong good looking pellow to put line to him. Someone like the bugger prom the Black Knight ads, he would look the part, and he also looking no so kelingma istraight himselp. Anyway so get the Black Knight to put a seduce to Nodaking, until one day they hau rented room in Hotel Janaki or somewhere like that to put the dirty acshun. Now Nodhaking who is used to receiwing many awards , donashuns and so on will no doubt also want to be on the receiwing end in this situashun. So what Black Knight must do is to pretend to get ready to clean Nodhaking's exhaust pipe, but at moment op entry, instead op putting you know what, when Nodhaking is not looking, insert sky rockat, quickly light the puse, and hook it out op the hotel room and run away like joka is on pire. (One can purchase prom any street vendor in Pettah. Gossip Aiya reccommand the Alidong Rathinna brand as they our the wery reliable and garanteed to light. Make sure you purchase good size skyrockat and not podi cracker as that will not hau desired eppect.) Now Nodhaking will be so distracted by ol these nice peelings in exhaust pipe that he will not realise that it is not the Black Knight that hau entered, but indeed something that is used to light up the black night, until it is too late. Then when rockat is ignited it will shoot up exhaust pipe, resulting in a wery painful yet somehow pleasurable end por Nodhaking. <br /><br />Now many peoples reading this blog might get upset that Gossip Aiya is talking about such desparate things as bumping someone opp. It is true I am usually wery harmless bugger and would not think op doing such things usually. However this is unportunately the only way to rid the elepant party op this bugger, since ol other means hau been tried and pailed. Only thing lept to do is to istab in the back - or in this case in the backside.<br /><br />Dishum dishum<br />Gossip AiyaGossip Aiyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04409756781051399561noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5927479260528640667.post-29852329004871965382009-09-28T04:26:00.000-07:002009-09-30T07:01:08.077-07:00School op rocks<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtV9rfBx036Ay7qEMgUpSBD9EZVtK-I2rG_hFDQ0zLgj5DZWiN1-e48oh6t6EzlKfZyVifZN1xb6WyJ2wlaCqkLufTOsHYU6hBhEH8DpQAzrUvC0Poo8K2bYJAMNbQulTqNv2G09Cex5cq/s1600-h/2007071350590601.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 196px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtV9rfBx036Ay7qEMgUpSBD9EZVtK-I2rG_hFDQ0zLgj5DZWiN1-e48oh6t6EzlKfZyVifZN1xb6WyJ2wlaCqkLufTOsHYU6hBhEH8DpQAzrUvC0Poo8K2bYJAMNbQulTqNv2G09Cex5cq/s320/2007071350590601.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5387260151628250034" /></a><br />Today while putting a relax I hau been reading the Daily News newspaper. It giuing euriday the daily news happanings in our fine nashun op Rajapakistan. Usually Gossip Aiya only reading the isport secshun, but apter horrible matches these days I thout today maybe look at dipperent sechuns instead op the isport page, I will cry otherwise. <br /><br />So today I reading article in local news secshun it called "Model school bag". I saw word "model" and got excited so put a read. This article though nothing about nice saxxy models, but something entirely dipparant. In pact this article is a dam joke and the person who wrote it should be hung by jokas upside down opp flagpole outside townhall por the crows to perch and put bog on. I will copy sechun op article por my fine readers to see (my readers op course much more disearning that readers op this "Daily News" rubbish). Anyway it telling this -<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">After many experiments and analysis the Ministry of Education has introduced a model schoolbag for schoolchildren since certain experts have pointed out that a heavy back pack carried by schoolchildren could be harmful to their physical growth.<br /><br />The model schoolbag has been designed in line with the steps taken by the Education Ministry to minimize the weight of heavy schoolbag. Accordingly, the model bag which comes under the back-pack model along with waist band will be available in the market from next year.<br /><br />From 2011 only the standard model schoolbag will be made compulsory for schoolchildren. Having analysed many models, a team of experts including doctors were deployed by the Education Ministry to look into the issues related to heavy schoolbag. Subsequently, they have designed this back-pack type school bag.<br /><br />“We considered and analysed many bag samples even from England. Having considered several elements, this sample bag was introduced,” Commissioner for Education Publications N.M.J. Pushpakumara said. <br /><br />Additionally, heavy text books will come as volumes from 2011 as they have been found to be the major reason for a heavy schoolbag.</span> <br /><br />Gossip Aiya hauing the many problams with this article. Pirst op all it telling this new ischool bag coming apter many "designs and exparimants" with "experts and doctors". They do not tell who are these so call "doctors"...maybe they ask Dr.Pan prom Chinese Herbal Medicine clinic in Kollupitiya. What will he know about ischool bags? He will be good por making green tea and waiting only. Also what kind op experimants can you do on ischool children to see how dipperant bags affact the growth? You telling me that 10 years ago they gawe a group op boys dipperant types of bag, put heawy books inside and told them to go euriday with that bag to ischool, and now 10 years later they looking and telling "ahh that pellow there is the shortest so that bag is the worst. this boy here look at him is big and as tall as coconut tree in my brotherinlo's cousins estate in Monaragala so this type op bag must be best por physical growth." Op course this bugger might be big not becos op bag design, but becos his parents are also coconut tree size, and euriday he eating tree bowls op the Samaposha and waiting. Or maybe they experimantating by putting big istones and rocks in dipparant dipparant bags, and dropping the boys prom Worlds End and seeing which boy hits the ground last and then they tell that bag is best por carrying heawy things. <br /><br />Then the article telling that the best ischool bag is the backpack with the istrap. They telling this like it is some scientipic breakthrough op century. What a bunch op plamingos! This Educashun Commishuner Pushpukamara should join the author op article on plag pole. It like telling "Apter many experimants with many experts and doctors, Gossip Aiya hau pound that ip you throw something in air, it will come back down and hit you on head". Euribody already knows the backpack is best without these ninny's telling in paper like breaking news. That why ol the battas in Maligawatta already going to ischool with backpack! Do these so call experts think that they holding Sathosa sili sili bags and going? Or maybe they putting books on head and going like woman going to collect water prom well? Dam pools.<br /><br />But the best thing about article is at the end. It telling that they hau pound that heawy text books only making the bags the heawy, so they are going to istart making the ismaller text books. Ip you are going solve the heawy bag problam, then what is the bloody point ispending money and getting Dr Pan and a bunch of muppets to experimant and throw boys op cliff to see which design is better por heawy backpack?!?! This some dam hairy flea inpested horse bollocks only. <br /><br />So now isport secshun making me sad, but news sechun making me angry. Maybe now I will go to word jumble to make me feel better, with my supir top iniglis iskills i am sure to smash it lept right and centre!<br /><br />Dishum dishum<br />Gossip AiyaGossip Aiyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04409756781051399561noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5927479260528640667.post-47485115822866609752009-09-15T06:20:00.000-07:002009-09-15T07:51:38.784-07:00Party Planning<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitBEdNmgeEVzZsXvNuUDiv4lX8LZxju1yQXCG4Zk4tAccqCydugarEEqh_pFqAcdkvCmATjtHhej5LpHgwFoirhi4S3yXXbUVdKSlaekGLX6a40IonDiEup2C75lupm7yAvEmczcxDYm-b/s1600-h/party+logo.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 220px; height: 306px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitBEdNmgeEVzZsXvNuUDiv4lX8LZxju1yQXCG4Zk4tAccqCydugarEEqh_pFqAcdkvCmATjtHhej5LpHgwFoirhi4S3yXXbUVdKSlaekGLX6a40IonDiEup2C75lupm7yAvEmczcxDYm-b/s320/party+logo.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5381706913579433218" /></a><br />Halew. Now some time ago I put bloggage about my political ambishuns to put party. Now recently while in lat room, I was thinking with all sorts of muppet shows entering the politics, maybe it is time por a decent down in the earth bugger like Gossip Aiya to get opp buttocks and istart with this party putting business. (Op course could not acshually get opp buttocks then because I was on bog sending some isso wadey down exhaust pipe. I am ispeaking in the metaforically ispeaking.) So put a nice long think on bog as isso wadeys were taking a long time to make appearance, and decided to put tree wheels in motion and istart Gossip Aiya's political carear.<br /><br />Now many op you might be knowing that already in Colombo there is tree wheel driwer who is big shot politishun. He liwes in White House opposite Viharama Devi park. He is king of park. Not only virahamahadevi park but ol tree wheel park. He is Colombo Mayor. All other tree wheel driwers lau him and hau the lot op respect por this bugger. Bepore he became mayor nobodies thout this would be possible. Taxi driwers, wan driwers and ewen bus driwers maybe become politishun, but not tree wheel driwer. We were looked down on by ol other driwers like something wrong with our genital objects. Ewen on roads we get pushed onto sidewalk by ol other wehicles that are bigger than tree wheel. Only driwers that are ismaller than us are motorcycles. But ewen them we cannot push op road, too iscared. One day Nil Batta pushed two buggers on motorcycle opp Marine Driwe, to see they were STF buggers going on patrol. Somehow the joker had not seen the two big pistole pointing up in air. Maybe he thout they were something else and got excited. Anyway bugger got petrifyed and bepore they could get up prom sidewalk he hooked it like Isuru Malli with his sarong on pire.<br /><br />What I am trying to tell is that our belowed Mayor hau been por us tree wheel driwers like that Presidant Osama bugger in the Istates is por ol Aprican-Americans peoples. (Although I do not underistand why in the Istates there are so many Aprican-Americans peoples. Why do Apricans peoples and Americans peoples like to get prisky with each other so much and hau the Aprican-Americans babies? Gossip Aiya not underistanding the bus istand.)<br /><br />Anyway, getting back to the tracks. Pirst op all must giu party nice name. Not like soththa boring names op elepant and betel leaf parties. My party will Pragathisheelee Prajathanthrawadaya Surekeemey Deshapreymee Vamaanshika Tree Wheel Peramuna (PPSDVTWP), in Tamil call Jananayagam Kudiarasu Thaesatatru Edathusari Tree Wheel Daesai Kachchi (JKTETWDK), and in Inigilish is call Liberal Democracy Protecting Country Loving Leftist Tree Wheel Party (LDPCLLTWP). Symbol will be hand. Euribodies will know my party as hand party.<br /><br />Now you must wonder what Gossip Aiya will do ip peoples wote por me. One thing I will depinitely do is istop ol these peoples sending inapropriate massages to electronic latterbox. They call it the ispam. It is wery annoying and it telling dirty things but not in exciting way. Todays even I got one such latter. With great dippiculty I open latterbox and look to see heading of email goes like this “enlarge your pe*is size 3 inches in length and width”. Chikey. Not only is this the inapropriate but also the wery misleading por peoples who supper prom the ismall koli-kuttu (otherwise call the "Pawkie-Syndrome") and who are interested in such emails. Euen ip genital wand is size of magi noodle ip you increase width by 3 inches even horse will run away when you go near. You will have to spend money to hire some bucket like isuru malli to carry your wand around. So gossip aiya want to become king to catch people who sending these latters and send them on sight looking tour of siri siri lanka and leawe them in Wilpattu and go.<br /><br />Now lunch time over no time to rite about party policies. Will do that next blog. But don’t porget, when putting wote, put hand party.<br /><br />Dishum Dishum<br />Gossip Aiyah!Gossip Aiyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04409756781051399561noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5927479260528640667.post-57595578663262820292009-09-05T06:27:00.000-07:002009-09-15T04:55:07.283-07:00I don't know why!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrb6Y3uA0i2rgbUBNmzDCtsj8vpawFJ0gEgYtjJPeMApMGZ2mIXdUSK9HZu1s0woiLy1KlL25j-ArSK5LN7EetvGKFZURh-NtnYooECC9f9lipIuJJa156uMwJ9tO0fQarV7Z5-EnMhvHj/s1600-h/80830.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 234px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrb6Y3uA0i2rgbUBNmzDCtsj8vpawFJ0gEgYtjJPeMApMGZ2mIXdUSK9HZu1s0woiLy1KlL25j-ArSK5LN7EetvGKFZURh-NtnYooECC9f9lipIuJJa156uMwJ9tO0fQarV7Z5-EnMhvHj/s320/80830.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5377987267898525666" /></a><br />Now our glorious team of Rajapakistan hau recently lost to a bunch of poached kiwipruits (I tell they are poached becos their nice suddha complecshuns hau become the red like ripe rambutan in the heat). We are losing to those soththas not just once, but once more apter that! (that mean the twice por the intellechshually challenged readers.) Dam shame no. great nashun loosing to a pruit. That is like Amaradeva losing singing competishun to a potato plant. Chick witharak! I thout those kiwi buggers are only good por doing dirty things with sheep, not the noble game op the cirickate. Only isport they are playing is some dum isport where you are trying to go porwards but throwing ball backwards and going, and players lifting other players up above the heads and looking up their shorts.<br /><br />Now opcourse in the morning time when I am sitting on the bog area I am thinking of ways to making the world a better place por you and por me and the entire human race (apart prom bugger next door opcourse I want him to die but that’s a story por different day), so todays I am thinking thinking why our great cirikate team is playing like the devi ballika under 12 girls basketball team. Hoppfully some jockstrap op a cirickate selector bugger is reading this, so maybe my adwice can halp you do job proparly. <br /><br />Problam is this. Prom the very pirst bigining we are istarting with rong poot porward. Now let me try and explain this by telling istory so ewen selector idiot can understand. Now long ago I used to hau a pighting cock (cock meaning chickan, i know you peoples thinking dirty things straight away no). Anyway, it was the best pighting cock in whole village. Euri pight it is winning winning, ewen beating cocks twice as big. He is wery pamous cock, ewen peoples prom next door villages coming to watch him pight. But then it islowly got old and istarted to loose some pights but istill good pighter. Then he got ewen older, and he become not so good pighter, but I thout newer mind he can istill pight. I made big mistake and sent it to pight one too many times and it ended up as chicken curry next day. Cirikare pollowers must be knowing what I am beating the bushes and trying to say. The great old man has got to go and take up commentary posishun where he can sit next to that goon ranjit pernando and continue to say things like ‘ THE india hau the very stong batting, THE dravid, THE tendulkar, and even THE gambhirs’. Ip he too old por that also, he can sit on side op road and polis peoples shoes with his shiny bald head.<br /><br />Second op all our selectors hau to get over their unlike op the Kandamby. He is very goot cirickate player. Little bit pat but ip he is not allouwed to play the game and run around chasing boll how will he ever get thin no? Ip our Capitan Cool Mr.Ranatunga played and he the size op jumbo sausage roll 24 pack, then this bugger depinitely not too pat to play.<br /><br />Third op all I will tell istory about another pighting cock I haued. This cock I thought was good pighter so I put and put in pights. But when he pight, he will put one or two nice attack but then lose and run away. But I kept giuing him chance thinking one day he will pight good. But he keep losing and losing until evenshually he also eneded up in curry. So like cock number two, that cotton house(Kapu-gedara) hau got to go and come back when he has grown some cellular matter inside his head cavity. When gossip aiya watch pirst forty cirikate match and saw cotton house play kakki shot gossip aiya got so angry and throw kadala in the air (then had to spend the rest of the inning picking up kadala. Dam devils woman that wipe wouldn't ewen giu halp)<br /><br />Pipth op all we hau to bring in the big Maharoop (por peoples not watching so much the cirickate he is the tall black girappe-like looking bugger with neck like turtle) . He is the very pine bowler and he hit the ball also hard. It a shamepul shame that he is only there to keep the benches warm. As shamepul as bathing in the naked in the village well. At least Kandamby can do good job op keeping bench warm with such an opulant set op buttocks, but this Maharoop bugger is thin and bony.<br /><br />Gossip aiya must say recent cricket perpormances making him very sad and angry at cirickate team. But that is only because I am big pan. I will ending today with some wise words uttered by Sri Lanka Cirickate Number One Pan the great percy abeysekara (pondly known to Gossip aiya as percy uncle)<br /><br />“I love you srilanka, I love you I love you I love you. Until I die I love you, thopilata avurudu 25 cheer keruwa mona magulak dha yako mey koranney? (I have been cheering for you for 25 years what bollucks cricket are you playing)<br /><br />Ip ol else pails and selector jokas don't listen to gossip aiya, only one thing lept to do to awoid the white washing in third game. Go to team hotel night bepore game and giu kiwipruit bus driwer nice arrak bothal and send him packing. Next morning go like bus driwer and instead op taking team to istadium, driu buss keling the istraight into the beira lake. Don't misunderstand i will keep doors opan por them to iscape so they won't drown. But prom iswallowing the beautipul clean beira lake water, they will surely contract some jungle illnass prom all the loose moshun the shanty buggers pass in lake, and will not be able to play por rest op tour. <br /><br />Dishum Dishum<br />Gossip Aiyah!Gossip Aiyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04409756781051399561noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5927479260528640667.post-91435066604014403112009-08-27T05:40:00.000-07:002009-08-27T07:48:00.271-07:00Bad cop, worse cop<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaMUJ4IpcORpDSdziYoruJ-6yBnPTmYcMxRKIZqSYitEuEbzFs1LWG23WL02PVbznTzYiQRbxhF_vukGHjerD0M5_xka-bSy-oNynKghBNHje5E5R3eud9l-b_m9wdRJtslfQVDAMZFA7c/s1600-h/8656-atm-user.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 263px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaMUJ4IpcORpDSdziYoruJ-6yBnPTmYcMxRKIZqSYitEuEbzFs1LWG23WL02PVbznTzYiQRbxhF_vukGHjerD0M5_xka-bSy-oNynKghBNHje5E5R3eud9l-b_m9wdRJtslfQVDAMZFA7c/s320/8656-atm-user.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5374644492922314946" /></a><br />Halew. These days lot op things happening in Great Nashun op Rajapakistan. Now ushually when somebody getting the caught doing the bad thing, like drinking and driuing the wrong way up Duplicashun Road in ischool trappic, or trying to take money prom ATM machine by showing toy gun ( as if ATM machine that istupid!), they hau to be taken to polish istashun(pamous istashun is in the garden of cinnamon very nice ismell). However these days when we go into polish istation the pellos working there make the criminals outside look like the bamby deer in the head lights ( this is prom new ingilish cartoon i hau watched on my DeeWeeDee player and no i did not watch blue pilim like some of you told). Wery sad istory when ismall ciriminals are in the cell playing tag with cockaroaches while bigger ciriminals holding piss toll and baton istick and lauping at those poor buggers and waiting.<br /><br />Other day I went to polish istashun with Nondi Dawid to get polish report por his new job (putting oil paper wrapping on jinadasas thalaguli), and the big man there asking por 2,500 rupees to giu report! Dam cussard bugger. So had to go to ATM (not with toy pistole but with isuru udana credit card from BOC) to take money to pay this panditheya. Poor Nondi Dawid was going to use that money to buy the ispectaculars as his eyesight these days the bad (just yesterday he telling "Gossip Aiya your wipe looking wery nice today"), but now that money going por the big polish elepant to eat malupan. By the way ol peoples talking in wery istrange way to big man. They talking like "Yes oh I see mahaththaya, no oh i see mahaththaya, tree bags pull oh i see mahaththaya." Why they saying oh i see ol the time? Maybe they were the drunkened, apter ol it was day apter poya and they hau alot op conpiscated moonshining alcohol to dispose op.<br /><br />Anyways thankpully our Great and Noble Ruler His Exellency King op Rajapakastan is taking drastic meshures to istop this unruly behawiour. He hau setup new Bribery Commishun to inwestigate these bent polish peoples (bent meaning underhand peoples, not bent meaning those inclined to cleaning exhaust pipes). But ewen these meashures I think are still palling short op the mark. Just the other day Gossip Aiya hear one pello working at Dematagoda Polish istashun hau been caught by one Bribery Commishuner por taking 1,000 rupees to release man who was caught plashing priwate parts at ischool girl. However this polishman managed to get op the hook by bribing the Bribery Commishuner!! So Gossip Aiya hau learnt the two things. Pirst thing, in puture I should always check por polish bepore I raise sarong and plash at passing ladies, or wallet will be emptied and wipe will clean my exhaust pipe with broom istick. Second thing is that in order to istop the Bribery Commishuner prom taking bribes prom polish pellos who take bribes, a new Bribery Commishun should be appointed to inwestigate the pirst Bribery Commishun. But the new bribery commishuners should not take bribes prom the old bribery commishuners that had taken bribes prom polish pellos who took bribes. Maybe then Nondi Dawid can get his 2,500 rupees back and big man can be put in prison so ol other prisoners can laup and tell oh i see and wait.<br /><br />Also I am the hearing that our nashunal treashure, the wery beautipul actress who enjoy very much running on beachy side is joining the politicks. Ol this time when peoples telling she is doing dirty things with politishuns and all I newer beliewed. She is too beutipul and innnosent to be doing such things with politishuns or anybody por that matter. Like unspoiled plower only of papaya tree. But now I underistand the reasons for all this hau been the edukashunal purposes such that now she hau single (or double) handedly masterfied the artistical art of the political set up. Anyway I will depinitely wote por her 10 times ( with all my ten pingers) ip she goes por elecshuns. She is great example to ol the young ladies in our cuntry about how par in lipe you can get with vishun, determinashun and committment. And plastic surgery op course.<br /><br />Dishum dishum<br />Gossip AiyaGossip Aiyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04409756781051399561noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5927479260528640667.post-32012755180678646572009-08-21T10:02:00.000-07:002009-08-21T10:13:08.296-07:00putting hommage!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiS_FTTN8garK39yn3djmucOf3Z0dReX1ZPdEPnD0H7O2Qy7Os2TSiCI8I9R1O4Fjp_xVXCsb-OMh_bFmDTVC4-rWzcZpNKiQ9gWQuD04emIRguX4DWEnz9HnnGms3Fi7XXlTDintRval8M/s1600-h/gay_baseball_players-12405.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 250px; height: 247px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiS_FTTN8garK39yn3djmucOf3Z0dReX1ZPdEPnD0H7O2Qy7Os2TSiCI8I9R1O4Fjp_xVXCsb-OMh_bFmDTVC4-rWzcZpNKiQ9gWQuD04emIRguX4DWEnz9HnnGms3Fi7XXlTDintRval8M/s320/gay_baseball_players-12405.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5372466150975214370" /></a><br />Recently one mister Samson posted this on my holy and sacred wall of pan.<br /><br />"<span style="font-weight:bold;">gossip aiya, i heard through the grapevine that you are actually gay and that you fancy isuru malli. this is why you dislike your wife so much and you never actually show us a picture of her, but you show one of isuru malli. quite a few people are talking about how you like it from behind...is this true?</span>"<br /><br />Now gossip aiya tired of all these buttock warts telling telling euridays that i am the homa (op the bent wariety, latin term homo sapian). Just because i am not doing daily dirty things with the wipe (better to do dirty things to a bees nest) does not meaning i am not liking the womans. In pact the other day i went on the internet and saw not one or two but three womans doing unmenshunable things to each other with the aid op warious neparious pruits (and wegetables) and all sorts of electrical applienses. My goat bunda!!! All this was highly ‘uplifting’ to be saying the leastest. Also last week I was putting hire to nice looking young lady in wery rewealing top. So rewealing in pact it rewealed that she had porgottan to put the inside underwear. Ammataudu euritime going ower pothole jiggling jiggling like two jally puddings. So Gossip Aiya put detour opp the main road telling i know short the cut, and went on ol ismall bumpy bumpy roads putting looks into side mirror at eury opportunity. Almost crashed tree wheel into bullock cart also while looking. Imagine hauing to explain that to wipe!<br /><br />So this should be proving that i am indeed istraight like lasith malingas bowling arm (not like thats soththa harbajahn sing).<br /><br />Also you telling some garbage about not putting pictorials op wipe. There is two reasons popr this. Pirst reason is whenewer I am coming near wipe with anything resembling camara, she taking cooking ispoon and coming apter me telling 'don't bring those evil eye mashines into our house'. She must be the knowing how ugly she is, that why she doing such things. Other reason i am not ewen taking hora pictorials op wipe and putting up is that ip i show you picture of wipe your junior samson might shrivel up and go into hibernation, therepore i do not show.<br /><br />Now gossip aiya is vary modern person and sees nothing wrong with people who are like to bat for the opposite teams, but i is very iscared op them. I am so iscared that one day isuru malli called me a ‘homa probe’ (or something similar) and i gave him one nice patas slap just because i thought it sounded a bit wrong side. I am so iscared of the such peoples that everytime i am istanding up and not sitting in tree wheel i am keeping plank of flywood board across my backside to ensure that my sacred anal shrine is not violated by any brown nosed mongooses.<br /><br />So dear Samson, i hope your queshchun hau been answered and in puture would advice you to think with your head rather than your buttock before asking silly queshchuns. Dam hooligan. I would advice all pans to urinate in sili sili bags and send to said individual so that he will learn lesson of not insulting poor innocent pellows like Gossip Aiya. In conclushun i would like to wish that the flease of the thousand camel infest your nether regions and your hands are too short to pluck them off.<br /><br />Dishum Dishum<br />Gossip Aiyah!Gossip Aiyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04409756781051399561noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5927479260528640667.post-10913568547735241572009-08-18T21:59:00.000-07:002009-08-18T22:28:07.272-07:00Window shopping<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzjTVzk3f9DOaCAmDWWx32XtX95OeGuJ7JMML0WH5s9RFjTPr8vmP3tc2zPFMY7eY3ui2y3P-jhIgEcUF2igZsYbhyphenhyphenA-C-xSJ-vNKBdRwdHLQd0hpgHd9Ff3wjpaK1Vyzl4mIt_BhGS-Z7/s1600-h/NQB35CAQ4IZ2FCAL1X21FCALAA549CAR9A4GSCAEHXW95CAPAX19CCABL8AVICAURS8MOCAEGWR5XCA1E99XECABO9NTQCA6MS5OVCA37SJB6CANKPQL7CA2VDU6RCAS3FOMJCADY9J1FCAHRDDGKCAC61MFY.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 133px; height: 137px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzjTVzk3f9DOaCAmDWWx32XtX95OeGuJ7JMML0WH5s9RFjTPr8vmP3tc2zPFMY7eY3ui2y3P-jhIgEcUF2igZsYbhyphenhyphenA-C-xSJ-vNKBdRwdHLQd0hpgHd9Ff3wjpaK1Vyzl4mIt_BhGS-Z7/s320/NQB35CAQ4IZ2FCAL1X21FCALAA549CAR9A4GSCAEHXW95CAPAX19CCABL8AVICAURS8MOCAEGWR5XCA1E99XECABO9NTQCA6MS5OVCA37SJB6CANKPQL7CA2VDU6RCAS3FOMJCADY9J1FCAHRDDGKCAC61MFY.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5371542367648231026" /></a><br />Now maybe pans remembering I put adwertismant up on blog some the time ago about pinding a job por that useless twit Isuru Malli. I am the wery the happy to report he pound job as window cleaner. I am not so the happy to report the dam pool hau lost job as window cleaner on same day. Bloody jockstrap. You might ask how anybodies could manage to get pired prom job where all you hau to do is apply soap and water on peace op glass!! Well as is usually the case with Isuru Malli, his unequalled randy-ness led to his downpall. Like a chiwawa in heat humping a table leg only this idiot is. Anyways let me tell you istory.<br /><br />So Isuru Malli was sent to poss big Colombo 7 house on pirst day to wash windows. Big the two istory house where wery poss pamily liuing. So he put water and the soap in buket and now washing washing windows. As he washing liuing room window he put a peep to see inside op house. Biiiig pictorial op pamily potograp hanging on wall. In potograp he see the wery nice lowerly looking dawter there. Sha a wery nice spesiman, the wery curvashus and giuing wery seductiwe lookings. So now Isuru Malli looking at fotograp and waiting, thinking dirty dirty things, until huge brute op a driwer Gonapala comes and giwes a shot and says "koheda balanney yako, thopi awa janel hodhanne ne, ay nikang maluek wagey kata arala inney? Wade karappang neththam palayan methening dhan kala kanniya" (translation - where are you looking sir? You hau been the commishuned to clean the windows op this residense, not stare open-mouth like guppy piss. Please go back to your appointed duty otherwise kindly leawe this property.) Isuru Malli jumped, almost putting boggage in sarong. "Ah ishorry ishorry mahaththmaya. I was just putting think about how to wash second istory windows, I am not tall enup to reach, ewen on my tippytoeses."<br /><br />Driwer Gonapala reply "Moda haraka (good man) there is a ladder in shed por you to climb and wash. No wonder your job is window cleaner. your mother must hau taken your brain to make brain cutlets when you were ismall. Now take ladder and go!"<br /><br />Isuru Malli thout op telling that Driwer Gonapala cannot appord to talk like that when his job is to go round and round in circles on road like rat in maze, but then thout better keep quiet otherwise might end up in Nawaloka accidant ward. So Isuru Malli take ladder, tie sarong around waist and climb to wash upistair the window. <br /><br />Now as he washing he putting look through window, like the nosey bugger he is. He seeing wery nice badroom, with pink fluffy pillos and all. And euriwheres the potos op this girl with dipperent dipperent poses. Ammataudu this must be nice girls badroom, thinking Isuru Malli. Just as he thinking that, door opens and girl comes into room prom the showering in towel! She sits down opposite mirror and istart brushing op the hair, with backside to Isuru Malli. This bugger almost hauing heart attack, thinking must be birthday, kissmass and avurudu presents all rolled into one.<br /><br />So this woman sitting in ismall towel brushing brushing, now Isuru Malli eyes like two dinner plates istaring istaring and thinking unmenshunable things, lipts sarong and now putting hand party. Chikey what a prisky bugger, I know you are thinking. I am thinking same. Anyway so now he consentrating so hard on this lady he dropping bucket with isponge water and all and not ewen noticing. Now Driwer Gonapala hear noise op bucket palling and coming to see what hau the happened, when he see this joker's pace against window putting hand party. <br /><br />"Ado val balla, thopi athey gahanawa dha??!! Inna ko mama dennam wadey!!" (Here are you putting hand party?? Wait i will giu you properly now) and Driwer Gonapala now also lipting sarong and coming to climb up ladder and hammer this pello. Isuru Malli got such a shock he jump. Thankpully one hand (not hand putting hand party) was holding ladder so he not pall opp ladder. Unthankpully, ladder also jump when he jump, and now it istart palling backwards. "Aiiiieeeeeeeeeee" he shouting as he palling palling and then dadaaang he pall onto ploor underneath ladder. Now euribodies in house, shef, maids, ewen madam op house coming running por the noise, to see this soththa bugger the istuck under ladder with wery sheepish look on pace, bucket and isponge missing, and koli kuttu istanding at attenshun por the whole world to see. Meanwhile Gonapala hau gone to get broom and come, and now holding it like wisikaththe and coming towards Isuru Malli like that Gobson bugger in pilm "Brawehart". In true Isuru Malli istyle, he riggled under ladder and hooked it down the road yelping like chiwawa (not chiwawa in heat but wery iscared chiwawa), sarong still tied at waist and plashing all and sundry on Rosmead Place.<br /><br />Needless to say that was end op Isuru Malli's career in window washing industry. Now the bugger again coming and saying no money and istealing ambulthiyal prom my kitchen. Dam pool.<br /><br />dishum dishum<br />Gossip AiyaGossip Aiyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04409756781051399561noreply@blogger.com10