Rectal Cardio Bronchitis

Pirst of ol gossip aiya thinks hes is going to die. Apart from being a threewheel driver gossip aiya is also a selp proclaimed hypochondriac man. Last time I had a loose motion I ran around convinced I had the buttonic plague. However my recent cause of griep is neither cholera or my wipe ( who we shall not go into details about, the cunning annoying babbling bi*&^%.......better stop). So I have caught my death of flu. Now this is all very embarrassing. How am I going to face people once I am dead. People will want to know how I dided and how shameful it is when people will say ‘oh he got a cold and died’. That is like saying I fought with a mosquito and lost. People will think I am a top class soththa bugger. So I have deviced cunning plan. I have asked doctor friend to give me some names of illness and thereby conclude that I now have rectal cardio bronchitis. Symptoms are high pever and a couph
During my period of illness and going to get medicinal medicines from the dottor I have noticed that sri Lankans have a severe hatred for anything that vaguely resembles a queue. Sri Lankans are more ‘funnel’ people rather than queue people. If you have ever stood in a queue at government or otherwise hospital you will know. euribodies push like it is a contest. Ip Olympics hauing pussing contest sri lanka will finally be able to win a golden medals. The other day I accidentally stepped on some old womans foot while waiting for dottor and that old prune thought I was ‘ making a pass’ at her. Chikey! Better to go and make passes at rotten jack fruit. Anyways she and her umbrella had their way with me for the best part of ten minutes. This did not do any good for my rectal cardio bronchitis.
Apter getting the medicinal medicines gossip aiya did not drive tree wheel. In addition to not being able to stand istraight I didn’t want to give half of Colombo rectal cardio bronchitis. This did not make wipe very happy. So I watch cricket(this also did not make wipe happy) and I have seen a very interesting poster at the games. It goes “mohammed you-soop’. Now if your going to insult someone and the best thing you can do is call them item of food, atleast consult village elders and learn how to put ispelling. Soop is ispelld S.O.U.P. Otherwise you sounding like village idiot infront of whole universe. Or call them something you can ispell like ‘bunis’ or ‘wattakka mellum’
Also I have been requested to write more spicy stories so here goes. Specially for you I got nondi david to bring to my bedside an extra spicy chicken and cheese kottu. It was so spicy that I think this morning I set fire to my lat room. It was like Hiroshima and Nagasaki had done dirty things and had a baby. My poor backside must have been singing song by sister knowns as jessika mauboy called 'burn' ( please be putting a googly search if you are unaware what the hell tinkle bell is going on) luckily I take fire bucket to the toilet at all times. (as shown in picture. Pictorial copyrights crazylanka.)
So ladies and gentlemans please refrain from getting bitten by mosquitos always use good night mosquito coils so that you will wake up with rectal cardio bronchitis like my good selp.

Dishum Dishum
Gossip Aiyah!