Road trippage!

Pirst op all Gossip Aiya hau to say wery big "ishorry" to all pans for silence these days.

Ishorry.

Reason por this is I put trip the last week to some dam village without the Anna Dunna iSpeed Line (ADSL). I ask and they say only hauing the dial up. I told "Yako I don't want to dial up people i hau mobile por that, I need ADSL to put bloggage por pans" but they no understanding the bus stand, giuing me blank looks and waiting. Third class backward buggers only, not like us ingilis speaking Colombo peoples. When I came to village, all buggers putting looks lept right and centre at me like they newer seen tree wheel bepore in lipe, only bullock carts. (I later realise i hau biiiig tear in crotchal region op sarong. Maybe that why looking.) Anyway so I thout I would share experiances prom trippage. Wery boring trip but since euribody kurupying asking "Gossip Aiya why no bloggage" I thout better write bepore pans leawe to pollow Isuru Malli or some other soththapala.

Anyway i will start prom start op trip. Now that sad excuse for a woman I have married always on my case saying I am not taking her on pilgrim trip. She saying she wants to go and feed flowers to statues other than the ones at our local tample. Jobless woman only. Instead of feeding flowers to statue the dam woman should be feeding me, but no. Anyway to shut this devil woman up I thought I will take her to cater village ( knows as kataragama by the non ingilish ispeaking polk) so now pumping pull tank patrol to tree wheel and going. Going going going going. Istill going istill no cater village. Huka pochchi this place very par! Thankpully engine making loud noises so i could not hear wipe's yakking like yak.

Finally we are getting to town of tissamaharama. There be big tample vary nice. Under tample all the pellows wearing joka and bathing in drain like thing. Ammataudu. Gossip aiya also peeling hot and wanted to put a baths, but not wearing jokas. I ask wipe ip can bath without joka but she gawe kaney shot and shouted insults at me. But I use my isweet talking iskills and manage to convince one mudalali to giu me his apter he put bath so I can put bath. I wanted to at least dry joka a bit in sunshine bepore putting but wipe told no time. Chikey but what to do, better wet joka and bath than no joka and no bath. So wore mudalali's wet joka and put bath. (By the way Gossip aiya looking vary sasky in joka. Ol the peoples were putting a look. Wipe very jalus.) Apter bath put driwe and pinally got to tample of cater village.

Tample wery the nice tample. Gossip aiya notice euribodies taking basket op pruit and going inside temple. I ask shop man 'mokadha yako mey? (please explain kind sir?) I did not understand what he told properly but I understood that it was for some kind of seremony in the tample to make high up gods happy and ask them for favours in bad times (like when cow is dry, chickens are eggless, child is sick or mother-in-law is healthy.) So gossip aiya ask man 'mey, is the big man inside a pruitytarian? only swallowing pruits?" man look at me like I was trying to do dirty things to his cat so I leauve shop and go to other shop.

These days bad times por Gossip aiya, so thout i would also do seremony in tample to ask por high up gods to reduce patrol prices. But i hau very ishmart idea. so I think with my ishmart brain 'ahh no point taking pruits big man must be tired of pruits. Must take better thing. Ip high up gods happy with me i can ask for another pavour like ask for wipe to be eaten by leopard'. So I go to shop called 'kataragama hotel' and buy one roast chicken, one rice packet one gold leap cigarette and one ice kirim tubs. (don’t misunderishtand gold leap was por me not por anyone else). Ice kirim was por big man to eat with all the pruits. Pruits taste better with ice kirim. So i put seremony and ask por pavours. Now must wait and see what the happening with patrol prices.

With other pavour, I thout to make it easier por high up gods i would put detour past yala (where many leopards the liuing). I tell wipe 'now darling i am taking you to yala sapari park to see nice beautipul animals watering themselves in watering hole'. And so now going going to Yala.

So we arriwe in Yala but problam. they not letting me go inside park becos i am in tree wheel and not pour wheel. Huta pochchi. No driwing near leopard and turning tree wheel past so wipe palls out. Leopard will hau to come to Colombo and eat wipe only. I was also the looking porward to going and seeing buppalo sitting in mud puddle. But that one not big deal. Can just watch news and wait por them to show parliament pictures, all sorts of wild animals there.

So had to go back but getting dark and only place to stay is some seedy rest house. I hau to share single bed with wipe and because there are 2 other pamilies prom kataragama in the rooms, the place all smelling like pruit salad. Should hau istay in maligawatta. Atleast could hau put drank with nondi david.

Bepore I go must say the roads in the down souths parts of the country are the pantastic. Gossip aiya go to maximum ishpeed of 4 istroke tree wheel. Gossip aiya also saw so many pictures of the king that I think I will be seeing mustache and red iscarp in my isleep also. King king king euriwheres. And also here and there picture op state goat.

On that crab shell I will istop

Dishum Dishum
Gossip Aiyah