(mis)portune pawours the brawe

Today this pool Isuru Malli comes with a big ismile on his pace and istarts rolling on the ground around my tree wheel. Eh bola I am thinking isuru malli has got mad cow disease. Then he explain to me he go and read his horoscopes and man in white sarong and beetle leaf stains ol over has told him it is bad time for him and rolling around around like rabid dog is good for his starry starry stars. Dam cabbage of a pool.

Anyways on this topics, I hearing that one man of portune telling origins has predicted that our great king His Excellency Ruler op Great Nation op Rajapakistan will only rule till the end of September. This was told to opposishun leader Nodhaking at party conperence (more about Nodhaking later). Under the democratic system currently in place in Rajapakistan this silly man was immediately arrested and fed to the lions (even though the lions didn’t have much after the police were done with him). So now gossip aiya hau question. This silly man who can see puture of our great king was not able to see his own puture after making such a silly statement! Maybe he needs bipocal spectacals. Even gossip aiya knows better than to say such things about king. Dam pool.

Anyway now I hau istory about opposishun leader. Many peoples are under impreshun that Nodhaking is man, but in pact he is no-man (no-man means not man but also not woman. is in the between. Not 'he' or 'she' but 'it'.) Next time you hear it ispeak listen the carepully and you will realise no man on earth moon or sun could sound like that, unless his bollocks were being the isqueezed like pilawoos shef isqueezing lime gediyas to make the lime juice. Now Gossip Aiya will tell you istory about how man became no-man.

One pine day Nodhaking had gone to parlimant to put parlimant seshun with members prom his green elepant party. Now when I say parlimant seshun I don't mean when ol buggers sit on two sides, flap their sarongs and insult each other prom across the room. This seshun was drinking seshun. Por those who are clueless, euri other priday in parlimant is drinking seshun. That is why police are closing roads, so drunk ministers can istop on side op road while going home to put kabral (the pukeage) without anybodies seeing such disgracepul behawiour.

Anyway so Nodhaking went por seshun. Apter two shots op baileys (the wery istrong licker) this bugger was hammered and could hardly the istand. Thankpully these days there are onerable MPs (Monk-ey Politicians) that do not consume the alcohol (as ip they ispill it will stain their sappron robes and euribody in the tample will know what shamepul things they hau been doing). So Nodhaking was leaning on this MP por the support. Now MP oppered Nodhaking to put a drop in his new duty-pree E-Class Bends (usually used por taking food to poor areas but once in a blue colour moon MP uses also.) But when they were walking to car, he tripped ower onerable MP's sappron robe and bepore anybodies could halp, huta pochchi! he pallen into lake. Then disaster istruck. Water isnake seeing Nodhaking dancing around in lake come and bitten his koli kuttu clean opp thinking is tasty isnack sent prom Gods. So apter that only man hau become no-man. Dam sin only.

Anyway this Nodhaking is big looser. Now Gossip Aiya not trying to be the ismart, this is pact. This is leader who hold world record por most number op elecshun depeats. Could not win elecshun ewen ip candidate prom other party was a convicted cereal rapist whos campaign was run by his dog. (However that being the said, a person op such esteem only is now running in up and coming local elecshuns por kings party in royal borough of kotte. This is wat makes us such glorious nation, that ewen peoples that hawe killed, raped, swindled, kidnapped or robbed other peoples are giwen chance to redeem themselves by becoming politician under our national "criminals rehabilitashun program".)

Pinally must giu update on home pront. Today wipe hau gone to motherinlos house. Very good I can hau some pieces of mind. But the devils woman hasn’t cooked me anything and gone. No money to eat prom posh establishment of pilawoos also so hau to cook. Dam pain only. Must close all doors and windows before performaing womanly act of cooking or naybor buggers will put a lauph.

dishum dishum
Gossip Aiyah!