Bad cop, worse cop

Halew. These days lot op things happening in Great Nashun op Rajapakistan. Now ushually when somebody getting the caught doing the bad thing, like drinking and driuing the wrong way up Duplicashun Road in ischool trappic, or trying to take money prom ATM machine by showing toy gun ( as if ATM machine that istupid!), they hau to be taken to polish istashun(pamous istashun is in the garden of cinnamon very nice ismell). However these days when we go into polish istation the pellos working there make the criminals outside look like the bamby deer in the head lights ( this is prom new ingilish cartoon i hau watched on my DeeWeeDee player and no i did not watch blue pilim like some of you told). Wery sad istory when ismall ciriminals are in the cell playing tag with cockaroaches while bigger ciriminals holding piss toll and baton istick and lauping at those poor buggers and waiting.

Other day I went to polish istashun with Nondi Dawid to get polish report por his new job (putting oil paper wrapping on jinadasas thalaguli), and the big man there asking por 2,500 rupees to giu report! Dam cussard bugger. So had to go to ATM (not with toy pistole but with isuru udana credit card from BOC) to take money to pay this panditheya. Poor Nondi Dawid was going to use that money to buy the ispectaculars as his eyesight these days the bad (just yesterday he telling "Gossip Aiya your wipe looking wery nice today"), but now that money going por the big polish elepant to eat malupan. By the way ol peoples talking in wery istrange way to big man. They talking like "Yes oh I see mahaththaya, no oh i see mahaththaya, tree bags pull oh i see mahaththaya." Why they saying oh i see ol the time? Maybe they were the drunkened, apter ol it was day apter poya and they hau alot op conpiscated moonshining alcohol to dispose op.

Anyways thankpully our Great and Noble Ruler His Exellency King op Rajapakastan is taking drastic meshures to istop this unruly behawiour. He hau setup new Bribery Commishun to inwestigate these bent polish peoples (bent meaning underhand peoples, not bent meaning those inclined to cleaning exhaust pipes). But ewen these meashures I think are still palling short op the mark. Just the other day Gossip Aiya hear one pello working at Dematagoda Polish istashun hau been caught by one Bribery Commishuner por taking 1,000 rupees to release man who was caught plashing priwate parts at ischool girl. However this polishman managed to get op the hook by bribing the Bribery Commishuner!! So Gossip Aiya hau learnt the two things. Pirst thing, in puture I should always check por polish bepore I raise sarong and plash at passing ladies, or wallet will be emptied and wipe will clean my exhaust pipe with broom istick. Second thing is that in order to istop the Bribery Commishuner prom taking bribes prom polish pellos who take bribes, a new Bribery Commishun should be appointed to inwestigate the pirst Bribery Commishun. But the new bribery commishuners should not take bribes prom the old bribery commishuners that had taken bribes prom polish pellos who took bribes. Maybe then Nondi Dawid can get his 2,500 rupees back and big man can be put in prison so ol other prisoners can laup and tell oh i see and wait.

Also I am the hearing that our nashunal treashure, the wery beautipul actress who enjoy very much running on beachy side is joining the politicks. Ol this time when peoples telling she is doing dirty things with politishuns and all I newer beliewed. She is too beutipul and innnosent to be doing such things with politishuns or anybody por that matter. Like unspoiled plower only of papaya tree. But now I underistand the reasons for all this hau been the edukashunal purposes such that now she hau single (or double) handedly masterfied the artistical art of the political set up. Anyway I will depinitely wote por her 10 times ( with all my ten pingers) ip she goes por elecshuns. She is great example to ol the young ladies in our cuntry about how par in lipe you can get with vishun, determinashun and committment. And plastic surgery op course.

Dishum dishum
Gossip Aiya