Saturday, 5 December 2009

Clash of the tash

HALEW! Now these days ewen more than normal, euriwhere euriplace you looking you seeing pace op Noble and Onerable King. Only way not to see pace is to close eyes. But I try that once but realised this is bad idea, espeshally while driuing tree wheel. When I open eyes tree wheel going istraight towards soththa Walls ice cream bicycle man ismiling and looking at sky. Ip I hit the bugger op course he not so Jumbo Jolly. He might even put his cornetto in my chocolate temptation. But on plus side it might istop that dam annoying tune coming prom bicycle megapone, you the one no? I am the sure these STF buggers using that tune only playing again again in cell op prisoners until they conpess whatever they did (or most time what they didn't do)and they are sentenced to a lipe of picking up soaps in jails.

Anyway back to the point. Gossip Aiya thinking too many picshures op Kings pace all ower Colombo. Ewen in dreams seeing this man (other day por example king telling in deep dream voice for me to cut vuttakka). Anyway so other day gossip aiya go on hire Horton Place juncshun and there is enormous full length cutout op king. I'm sure pans hau seen, how not to see. It are so big the kings shoe is size of cherry QQ car.maybe can see prom top op Piduruthalagala olso. Pirst time I saw I got iscared and almost had accidant (same soththa walls man. dam nipple flicker pollowing me euriwheres). The cutout is op King looking into distance putting the regal looks and putting pointing pinger in obscene way at what seems to be Horton Place Indian Oil Patrol Shed. I think king is not liking the indian chapatis coming and puting patrol shed in our country apter what happen in cirickate match. Or maybe he telling his securities peoples to quickly take jeeps and mercedes cars and go and pill tanks bepore patrol tax goes up again and chapatis get angry and go on the istrike!

Another thing last week I put hire with some poss looking Colombo 7 bugger. Although hire only 200 rupees (bargain rate por taking prom top op Rosmead place to bottom op Rosmead place as he was taking dog por a walk. bugger lept dog to get run ower by walls man and got in tree wheel. i dont kno why) Anyways this man like big shot not hauing the ismall bills. So he giuing what he said was 1000 rupee bill to me to giu change. But this not 1000 rupee bill this something else, like child's drawing on note size paper. I telling "here sir I know you are poss Colombo 7 bugger and I am poor tree wheel driwer but are you taking me por a pool? What is this bollocks thing you are trying to pass opp as 1000 rupee bill? Giu me green looking bill with peacocks running euriwhere, not this rubbish" but he talling this is new bill. When I called ower passing broom salesman he olso telling that this is new one(now pans don't laup at me por not knowing this, I am poor man no. I not seeing such big bills usually). So later when I get home I take wallat and look at this new bill. I hau to say I hau newer seen such an ugly looking note in my lipe.( i pans will know i ahu seen my wipe recently olso). I hau seen porin notes olso (like when I took suddha bugger prom rushiya and other wierd places to wisit ladyboy establishmants) ip oll of those ugly notes were puttogether and a cow putting runny excrement on them they istill look better than this. Not only is King's mug on this note as well (putting look like Nodhaking is doing dirty things to him prom behind)but it looks like some colourblind mountain goat has designed it while partaking op illegal substances. There is some ungodly blue green yellow mixed colour like someone has eaten packet op jelly beans and put kabral all ower. Chikey. I am wery ambarassed to call this our nashuns currancy. Better to take Maldivian Rupiaah instead, before ol the members op royal family appear on the notes pointing pingers, picking noses and whatever other ungodly activites.

Only one thing I am wondering though. With King's pace euriwhere euriwheres, where is this so coll common candidate?? (Although I think it is wery bad to coll him a common bugger just becos he comes prom village, not like Nodhaking coming prom Fifth Lane) Euribody's talling this man only one who can beat King in upcoming elecshun, but I don't think ewen ip he walked past me in bookshop I would know his pace (ok ok maybe that is lie, I don't go inside bookshops). I think they should put his pace also euriwhere euriwheres so peoples can know who this bugger is. Lauly place to put would be in pront of giant king cut out in hortun place. then it will look like king making obscene pinger gesture to comomon man op opposichun (who olso incidentally hau beards on top op lip to filter the kola kendha bepore drinking. no wonder nodhakin never win even game of hop iscotch or rock paper sissor. he not hau top op lip beards)

Anyway ol this talk op elecshuns making Gossip Aiya thinking op running por Hand Party. Maybe I can run with Wickremabahu Karunaratna prom Nashunal Lept Pront as my Prime Minister. He can be my Lept Hand Man. So anyway what do pans think? Should I put a run? I hau some nice policies olso I will detail in next blog. In the meantime I am thinking pans on pacebook group should inwite ol prends so peoples can see my pace euritime they are going online. olso put click on advertisements so i can catch enupp monies to put poster euriwheres. Ip I am getting enup monies maybe can make ewen bigger cut out op me lipting sarong and letting rip nicely prom buttocks, and put next to Horton Place patrol shed so it looking like King has got the ismell and is pointing at me. Good plan no? loan liu the king!

Dishum dishum
Gossip Aiya