Wednesday, 11 January 2012


My goat. 43 ol out. What a shamepul situashun. Gossip Aiya today hanging nashunal plag at halp mast (when i say halp mast acshually mean halp arial as I hau no mast on tree wheel but hau arial) in memory op the untimely death op cirikate team. These southern aprican buggers running around like cocks-in-a-hoop and our buggers hanging heads and crying like Tom Dooley only. Chikey. OK so maybe they hau some tall alien looking Morkel character running in like he has firecracker lodged up backside, and bowling on pitch that hau more bounce than Nondi Dawid's man bosoms. But still. 43. 43!! Something depinitely rong.

Now lot op smart alecs talking on radio and newspapers like they know it ol. Like apter pirst test they talling that team cannot beat not only South Aprica A but cannot beat South Aprica under-15 B side. Apter second test those SAME fooligans talling we are world beaters, champions blah blah blah de blah and so on and so porth. Bloody useless hacks. I tell them to shutup and wait.

Now I hau been looking at this book op pace olso apter this mammoth defeat and some buggers talling "Dilshan must go", some other buggers talling "Dilhara must go" some other buggers talling " that iscrawny half man half chicken Kula must go". OK maybe that last one was me. But I talling bepore anyone coming or going, these good por nothing politishans should get their act together and pay these poor buggers. They go around voting new interim committees eury other week and walk around looking important in luxury wehicles and ol. What Gossip Aiya cannot underistand is that ip we can appord to host commonwealth games and ply hundreds op buggers to carribean to shake hands and shake other things, how can we not appord to pay 11 buggers to represent king and country in only isport we are half good at? (I am not counting pocket billiards altho one can argue that it is olso a nashunal isport) OK maybe the senior players make enuf money adwertising por Dialog, Mobitel, Celltel, Airtel, Anytel and Ewerytel, but these new buggers can't get an endorsemant ewen prom Harischandra Noodles.

It like this. Imagine you hau maid. You tall maid to come to work ewery day. But you don't pay maid. Then you go and complain to neighbours and bread shop man and barber and ol talling that maid is not doing good job and burning your papadams. Gossip Aiya hau to say you are lucky maid ewen shows up to work, and that the only thing she is burning is your papadams! Same thing with cirickate team. Ip this hau happaned in some suddha country like England by now the players would be talling "Sod this, I'm off to the pub". Meanwhile our buggers istill gamely facing up to Morkel and crew sending bolls plying into ribs like homing missiles. I tip my hat to you sirs.

That said, I don't hau hat and ewen ip I had one I don't know how to tip it. I know only how to lipt sarong, but maybe not the occassion por such an acshun. So will sit and wait.

Dishum dishum
Gossip Aiya