Monday, 28 February 2011
Pans I am back and on the line!!The wery sorry por the wery long time period op inactiwity. I hau been working days and nights and ewen preshus apternoon napping time to save monies to buy plat iscreen to wotch cirickate world cup pinal. You will be wery glad to know that I hau today purchased said plat iscreen prom Abans showroom - it is so plat that ewen Murali couldn't turn a boll on it! By the way those Abans buggers are dam cussard buggers. When I walked in wearing batas and sarong some soththa pello coming and shooing me out like some cockaroach talling "here here inside only customers, ip you want to wotch tv then wotch prom outside like ol other peoples". How the bloody cheek. When he saw envelope I was holding pull op notes with king pace on opcourse he starting bowing bowing saying "sorry sir yes sir no sir tree bags pull sir" and ol that. Bugger got what he deserwed though. As the jockstrap was bending ower to lipt tv box to put in my tree wheel i walked right in pront op him and let rip one ungodly googly only straight into pace! tee hee hee
So anyway, on Saturday I am hauing ismoll party in newly baptised "platscreen room" (not to be conpused with "latreen room"). Ol prends are coming - Nondi Dawid, Nil Batta and other buggers prom tree wheel istand. I hau olso asked Isuru Malli to come oltho that bugger knows as much about cirickate as Soththapala in opposishun knows about winning elechuns. Thankpully wipe is going to her relashuns village so we can put party in peace without dam woman screeching at me like chimpanzee to turn down volume.
Now I know some peoples are worried about our boise going and playing dirty chapathi boise in their own dirty chapathi country. Ewen tho onerable noble king is making good use op our tax rupees to fly himselp and 30 op his crew to Mumbai to giu our boise moral support, we will indeed be outnumbered. Gossip Aiya tho thinks we should "take out the positiwes" prom the situashun (like hearing ol the time prom captain op team that got trashed in post-match interview). Our boise don't hau to be worried about the pollowing things with the chapathis hau to worry about ip they do not play well -
a) hauing bottles/istones/warious rubbish/aloo gobi/dirty underwear thrown at them prom pans in the istand
b) hauing their houses istoned/set on pire
c) hauing euri cirickate pundit and their dog talking dirty things about them por next four years
d) getting set upon in dressing room by a wery angry and drunk Navjot Singh Sidhu cursing them in ol sorts op ingenious and nonsenical ways (something like "ip ips and ands were pots and pans, i will drag you outside and shoot you in the street like the dogs you are")
e) losing millions op rupees in adwertisemants por sopt drinks, clotheswear, motorbikes, tampons and other things (prom what I hear our buggers are giwen 5000 rupees and a lunch packet to do a TV ad)
f) ip they get really thrashed, hauing to relocate to some remote willage in Mongolia and take fake names like Gengis Kan to escape prom murderous public
Therepore my in depth analysis suggests that chapathis will supper prom "home disadwantage".
So par I hau to say I am wery conpident in our boise abilities. Only worry is middle order. Can't blame the buggers olso becos they hau hardly had a chance to play. I think Dilshan and Upul should hau retired in England game to giu them chance to hit themselwes into porm against such a schoolboy bowling attack (as boycott says, ewen my achchi could bowl better than those goons). Anyway cannot be helped. Only thing Gossip Aiya suggests sending Silva and Sam the Man to "school op hard knocks" to practice polladi techniques bepore Saturday.
Anyway, here is wishing our boys ol the best (not prom LG and Abans but prom Gossip Aiya). Let's show those nose-picking never-washing street-defecating gulab jamuns what our lions are made op. Jayawewa!!
Dishum dishum (ara ara ara aroooo)