Saturday, 10 July 2010

poot bool pever

Bodu ammo! So this is ol very busy time por Gossip Aiya. I am building roop in house. Some ismarty pants peoples might ask ‘here gossip aiya did you not hau roop ol this time?” Answer very simple. My roop hau gone on walk. Now gossip aiya poor man liu in simple house with roop made from tin. Tin mean not like araliya tin malu but tin sheet. When it is raining tin making din. Sounding like lead drummer op papara band getting excited and doing dirty things to drum with stick (drumstick not other stick). Dam curse only. When I am hauing hangower it is giuing such a headache I hau to go outside and sit in the dam rain only and wait. Only good thing about these unseemly noises emanating prom said roop is that cannot here wipe yelling at me, which is sound like cat being strangled with wire while doing unmentionable things to lady cat (soemtime called pussy cat but no need to be too much).

Anyway one day rain and wind wery the istrong. These times good por Gossip Aiya becos lot op business prom ol the dam pools that walk around without umberellas in monsoon season. Olso good por Gossip Aiya becos when nice ladies putting hire in rain, sometime back seat op tree wheel resembling "wet t-shirt contest" in the america they showing on websites which ask me ip i am over 18. The wery niiice. That day op course not so nice when Gossip Aiya came home to see roop gone. Wipe icolding and telling "see what happens when you try and be too ismart and put roop by yourself instead op colling baas! Such a cheap bugger I hau newer met in my lipe. Dam useless pello you cannot ewen tie your shoe laces how can you fix a roop? This time get a baas to come and fix"
So to be building this roop gossip aiya need lot money. Which not hau. But luckily this time of year Colombo nighty party lipe very busy. Ol these batta buggers hau come from par par away places ( not par par away like in movie “shak”, olthough some bugger do looking lot like that bugger only) with accents that sound like a buppalo trying to sing sunil saantha songs and clothes that look like what a paint baas have throw away. Some op these clowns euwen wearing sunny mirrors on their eyeses known as ‘shades’ even in the night time. Haio don’t know what to tell so I shut up my muoth and take them where ever they are wanting. Better drunk buggers going sapely in tree wheel than trying to put driwe and getting copped and hauing to donate towards the ‘policemans double distilled coconut arrack party fund’. So lot of hire day and night no time to put bog even let alone write blog.

On top op that poot bol is happening. I am not under ishtanding this game or why ol the pellows in columbo getting so excited. Rajapakistan not even playing in this world cup! Some soththa isport only with some homas with long hair running around. Then when someone coming close to put a hallo, they polling on ground like they hau been giwen knockout punch by john cena. Only explanashun is that other bugger had eaten some nice garlic curry with onion sambol and had put nice barp in pace. Anyway ol these pellows in Colombo jumping up and down supporting these jokers. Even isuru malli come to me and say he is supporting this team. He tried to say the name and ended up biting his tongue and displacing his jaw bone at the same time. He wrote it down on piece of paper and name was ‘corte d’ vor’ - luckily I did not try to pronounce or same thing would hau happun. Only thing I know about them are that they are a bunch of dark buggers running around in bright oraange uniform which making them look like the pettah boys ganssi club.

On top op ol this, king ispin bowler is retire prom the crickate this week. No doubt he has seen how the pighting cock suddenly going prom one Montero to twenty Montero in one month and tinks political much more better than putting tacktical time out in cirikate. Gossip Aiya hau olso heard that in great province of matara ruled by said pighting cock, two young people hau been arrest por putting kiss. This is very good. People should not be allow to kiss. Ispecially in the outdoors. Actually even in the indoors no need. It never ends well. Actually gossip aiya not knowing how it is ending to be honest. Kissing wipe will be like falling into a communal commode. Kissing somebody else will be worse as apter wipe finds out she will making sure I will not have the need for a commode ever again. The other day I heard her threaten neighbour apter he accusing wipe op stealing gotukola plant prom their garden, saying ‘puka mahanawa’ (literally translate meaning I will sew your arse) followed by many other creative words best not mentioned in public.

In other much more happy news wipe has got flue apter getting wet by sleeping without roop. This time I think it will depinitely kill her. I hau tied coin onto holy tree that her illness is not cured. But just to be 100% sure maybe I should put some rat poison into her luni miris. It will be good use op poison sitting in cupboard as we hau no rats anymore. One rat came to put a look one day, but choked on his own tail apter seeing ugly wipe and died. Apter that no rats. Luckily I hau no tail.

I would like to leave you with one very important thought.
Age is no barriya below the buriya, but if it is staying down like a barriya, find a couriya tell him to stop eating lawariya and bring you the remadiya. It is true and its blue, your lady will go woo hoo, but for a few hours, you wont be able to put chu.

Dishum dishum
Gossip Aiya