Sunday, 25 November 2012

Too sick to think op title but please read

Gossip Aiya is sick. Dam sick in fact. What began as ismall sniffling sniffling now become some dam jungle fevers only. Cannot move, cannot stay the still also. Nose is red like that Rudolf bugger, sarong is green from blowing said nose. Chikey.

Now in these sad situashuns, one usually can rely on ones chosen partner in lipe to be looking apter and say things like "aney sin only" and boiling kothamali and giuing. Nondi Dawids wipe ewen doing dirty dirty things to him to make him feeling better when he sick. As a result that sneaky bugger pretending ol the time to be sick when he is healthier than even that boy eating eating samaposha on TV ad. Anyway that is another istory.

Now when I am sick, my dam baboon of a wipe not doing any of these things. (That said ip she tried to do dirty things to me poor Gossip Aiya might get nightmares on top of other simptoms.) She talling me "You useless bugger don't act like ismol baby, stop whining and get up and go on hire" and other hurtpul things like that. Then she coming with toilet brush and chasing me outside. This time though, I am peeling so below the weather that even constant scoldings and yellings prom wipe not moving me prom bed. So pinally she talling me to go to her sisters brotherinlos daughter who is doctor in Kottawa. So I went to see this person. At once as I went into oppice, she putting one look up and down and then without asking queshuns ewen she writes paper and gius and send me to pharmacy. 5 dipperent medicines only! One to take bepore the isleep, one to take apter the meals, other one bepore the meals, one with the meals, other one instead op the meals, and so on. Poor GA wery conpused.

Anyway I am going home and istraight away before I can take jungi off ewen, wipe coming with water and giuing and talling "here now take take medicine soon soon". Now this make Gossip Aiya the wery suspishus. I am beginning to thinking maybe this so coll sisters brotherinlo's daughter is in pact not sisters brotherinlo's daughter. And maybe this "medicine" is not to send me just back abowe the weather but another 6 feet under the weather only. So I try to say later later but she gawe me thundering look and got so iscared I took medicine. But Gossip Aiya can olso be sneaky. so ewen tho I take medicine I not really taking medicine but keeping under tongue. And when wipe was sweeping gardens I took it out, crush it and put in wipes cup of tea. Tee hee hee! Now wipe catching me looking looking at her closely and now she giuing me suspishus looks and asking "what are you looking at" so I talling "I just looking at you and thinking how lucky I am to hau truly beautipuls wipe like araliya plower in the full blooming" but I think she not buying it.

Wish me luck!

Dishum dishum

Gossip Aiya

P.S. Today no funy picture. Gossip Aiya put googly image search por "jungle fever" to see what pictures coming, but ol sorts op dirty dirty things only coming! So as this is family blog, cannot put such things. But the more seedy op my pans should go and put said googly search and see.

Tuesday, 18 September 2012

Coll me Gossip aiyah

today in glorious nashun of sri lanka cricket is istart. this is very excite for gossip aiya whose other porms of entertain are being taken away by king. king has put kong on gossip aiyas pavourite aktivities of drinking by giving for lies reason like "ah today no drink it is week of poya, today can not drink because it is week bepore week op poya" not only king is putting downer on the ispirits but putting downer in other arials (like kollikuttu) also by putting underwears like barriers (below the buriyas) on all the interweb sites with all the nice kumaris. euritime i is going it is say 'content is being blocked' content blocked only, somenights GA wake up with content euriwheres on sarong. chi! therepore GA hau new pass time of listening to ingiligh radio istashun in the pree time ( which is very much high these days apter those soththa nano cab buggers hau come with their meters, if i catch those useless buggers i will put their meter up their exhaust pipe until the charges reaches many thousands) anyways so listening to engilish songs. ammatasiri! not like song by sunil santha englihs song much more betters than kumari ful website! one man telling the chennai super king whistle podu song to a girl saying "aney nangi blow my whitle please" but we are all know by whistle he is really mean his handbrake. chick witharak. i olso like cheeky man ( not buttock cheeky but joke cheeky ok) went with 10 rupee yellow whistle to a police nangi and said "can you blow my whistle baby?" and got one nice kaney shot ( as this funny man called jehan say ( not mubarak he is only funny when he is batting) "one thundering slap" ) olso there is some pat yellow man ( no not the simpsons man some other man) who is telling oppum gannam istyle and jumping up and down like some dam hooligan. GA is very learnful but he is no idea what is this meaning. from his size i can only thinking it must mean "pass me the fried rice" that got me thinking. why our buggers are not making random songs and making money and bringing more glory to glorious nashun of rajapakistan? (other than we are already being so glory ful that we do not have the ispace for this extra glory) why not some nice man like kandamby come in song saying "deepung ulundu vadei" ( dear sir kindly pass me one numbers of that fine fried lentil balls) or something equally silly? i think that is what will get GA enouhg money to buy nano cab. now tell me who has seen princess op englands mambalams? not because king has put chakablast on that also.... Dishum Dishum

Wednesday, 11 January 2012


My goat. 43 ol out. What a shamepul situashun. Gossip Aiya today hanging nashunal plag at halp mast (when i say halp mast acshually mean halp arial as I hau no mast on tree wheel but hau arial) in memory op the untimely death op cirikate team. These southern aprican buggers running around like cocks-in-a-hoop and our buggers hanging heads and crying like Tom Dooley only. Chikey. OK so maybe they hau some tall alien looking Morkel character running in like he has firecracker lodged up backside, and bowling on pitch that hau more bounce than Nondi Dawid's man bosoms. But still. 43. 43!! Something depinitely rong.

Now lot op smart alecs talking on radio and newspapers like they know it ol. Like apter pirst test they talling that team cannot beat not only South Aprica A but cannot beat South Aprica under-15 B side. Apter second test those SAME fooligans talling we are world beaters, champions blah blah blah de blah and so on and so porth. Bloody useless hacks. I tell them to shutup and wait.

Now I hau been looking at this book op pace olso apter this mammoth defeat and some buggers talling "Dilshan must go", some other buggers talling "Dilhara must go" some other buggers talling " that iscrawny half man half chicken Kula must go". OK maybe that last one was me. But I talling bepore anyone coming or going, these good por nothing politishans should get their act together and pay these poor buggers. They go around voting new interim committees eury other week and walk around looking important in luxury wehicles and ol. What Gossip Aiya cannot underistand is that ip we can appord to host commonwealth games and ply hundreds op buggers to carribean to shake hands and shake other things, how can we not appord to pay 11 buggers to represent king and country in only isport we are half good at? (I am not counting pocket billiards altho one can argue that it is olso a nashunal isport) OK maybe the senior players make enuf money adwertising por Dialog, Mobitel, Celltel, Airtel, Anytel and Ewerytel, but these new buggers can't get an endorsemant ewen prom Harischandra Noodles.

It like this. Imagine you hau maid. You tall maid to come to work ewery day. But you don't pay maid. Then you go and complain to neighbours and bread shop man and barber and ol talling that maid is not doing good job and burning your papadams. Gossip Aiya hau to say you are lucky maid ewen shows up to work, and that the only thing she is burning is your papadams! Same thing with cirickate team. Ip this hau happaned in some suddha country like England by now the players would be talling "Sod this, I'm off to the pub". Meanwhile our buggers istill gamely facing up to Morkel and crew sending bolls plying into ribs like homing missiles. I tip my hat to you sirs.

That said, I don't hau hat and ewen ip I had one I don't know how to tip it. I know only how to lipt sarong, but maybe not the occassion por such an acshun. So will sit and wait.

Dishum dishum
Gossip Aiya