Halew and budo ammoo! So last month has been month of great scaryness for gossip aiya and the entire continent of rajapakistan. There hau been many hazards to the health of upstanding young pellows such as mysalp (now when I tell "upstanding" I do not mean under the sarong like upstanding, I know you dirty fellows straight away going under sarong. Chikey.) Anyways, pirst op all there was elecshun. Ip you did not get killed/beaten up/molested/chucked in a well/fed to a dog/raped in the backside or hung nakedly on the town lamppost during the elecshun times you must consider yoursalp wery lucky and calabrate. Thankpully I ascape prom such things. Unthankpully wipe olso ascape. Isuru Malli op course not so lucky. He like big shot told "Gossip Aiya you are pansy to be so afraid. I am not iscared op these goons they cannot do anything to me" and went around Colombo wearing green aliya cap. He was not so big shot the next day when some minister's gangsies caught the bugger and made him walk through nugegoda meat market wearing nothing but that cap to cover his own meat market.
So anyways elecshun over and now no more watching free tv for gossip aiya. Ol our poolish ministers think that the way to get vote is to tie a TV onto a van or somebodies building and drive around Colombo so that people can watch while they sit in traffic jams for some bigger minister to go and pass moshuns (not the loose kind but the parliament kind). This wery istupid. As ip peoples are so silly to wote por them just becos they can watch Malusoy adwerts while waiting at juncshun. Ip that were the case, Abans showrooms owner only would be winning with most preferable wotes.
So anyways onerable and noble King is winning because of some land slide. Not sure how that works but that is what they say on king tv (formarly knowns as the roopavahini or the harpic throwers media corporation.) Anyways now King is olso Finance Minister, Depence Minister, Ports and Aviations Minister AND Highways Minister. He might as wall take ol other main ministries and then he can hau cabinet meetings by himsalp while putting dump in toilat (although poor seceratary will hau to hold nose and take minutes). Fowzie hau been giwen Ministry op Disaster Management. Gossip Aiya think this should be giwen to Nodhakin as he hau had more than enup experiance in disasters. Son of king (prince)and state herb olso won and Dr Dutugemunu himselp has been put in charge of media. Now he can go and throw harpic and other heavy objects on the heads of euribodies who threw stones/red paint/harpic/beetle spit/used condoms at him 2 years when he went to put part in TV stashun.
In addition to this, pighting cock olso win! Now close pollowers will know that pighting cock is nick name gossip aiya hau given for great opening batsman from 20 years ago (who is still playing in team to giu others moral support). Hopepully he wont go to parliament and try to play too many big shots because we olready hau many attacking batsmans inside there. He hau to be carepul or king will bowl a doosra and get him out before the power play is even over.
While ol this is happaning in royal kingdom op Rajapakistan, the dam sudhdha buggers sitting in their comfortable chairs eating macdonalds complaining saying there is ashes euriwhere. What fools I don’t know! Ip they want to get rid of the ashes tell them to organize a cricket match between England and Australia. Whoever who wins will take the ashes and go.
Dishum Dishum
Gossip Aiya .
