So you must be ol asking "Where this bloody Gossip Aiya, long time no ispeaking". It is true. To tall the truth, last 6 month hau been wery dippicult time por me. Basically this what happan.
One night, it was wery hot night. Gossip Aiya isweating isweating and waiting. Moskitos olso euriwheres coming close singing in ear and going. Put Good Night coil, what bloody good night. Wipe olso isnoring beside me like nasally congested baboon. So I get up, put sarong and stand outside. Nothing happan outside. So come inside and put tv box. Nothing happan on tv box, only nashunal plag plying plying and some jockstrap singing namo namo matha. So what else to do but put hand party? So Gossip Aiya tipitoed back to bedroom, check to see wipe istill past asleep, then put computer on. Now wotching quite interesting things on internet (better not describe as i know some pans are istill wery ismolls, ip you want to know what Gossip Aiya talking about go to wotch brand new feature film at Roxy). Anyways these things on internet so interesting Gossip Aiya did not hear this aforementioned unsightly sounds prom bedroom suddenly istop. These things so interesting Gossip Aiya did not hear footsteps coming closer. Gossip Aiya only realise the ill fate that was about to befol him when wipe iscream "THAMUSAY MONAWADHA KARANNEY??!!" and other unmenshunable words. This was swiptly pollowed by kaney shot to end ol kaney shots. Poor Gossip Aiya was sent running prom house so fast no time ewen to tie sarong.
So since then wipe hau colled SLT and now we hau no broadband. Only band in house is rubber band. Wipe olso threaten "ip i hear you are going to internet capey and doing dirty dirty things i will cut your mambalams opp when you are isleeping" so Gossip Aiya wery iscared and hau been what you technologicals peoples colling "oppline". Now come online wery quickly to put line to dear pans (wipe hau gone to dhaney op sister's husband's motherinlaw's goat or something in Seenigama).
Anyways, lot op things happaning in Rajapakistan since I tolk last. Onerable and noble King hau done many onerable and noble things por our peoples (while Nodhakin doing not so onerable and noble things to swimming pool cleaning boy). Euriwhere looking, new buildings, bridges, roads and so many other things. Now galle road is so plat, ewen 30 year old tata lorries gliding as ismooth as babys buttocks. You can go prom colombo to bentota in same time that it takes to brush ones teeth. (op course Isuru Malli will not underistand that statmant as he does not know what this teeth brushing business is. his breath is so odorful that he can curdle milk by exhaling prom 10 meters away) We ewen recently hau inaugaral "South Asian Beach Games" in Hambantota. That is ip you coll a volleybol team prom Nepal, two sailors prom Bangladesh that had probably lost their way and 20 spectators an internashunal isporting ewent.
Now onerable king hau gone to Australia to rub noses with Queen and other buggers op this common wealth (hopefully not rubbing anything else). Maybe he should talk to Australian prime minister as we hau lot in common. Both countries hau good crickating team. Both countries hau convicts and unsawory characters running freely on the istreets. Both countries olso hau wery problematic nashunal carriers. (Por those who are not wery upto date with current appairs unlike Gossip Aiya, Kwantas airline hau been kept on ground by labor dispute, while one op our fleet was caught in Paris last week with engine about to fall off.)
Anyways Gossip Aiya is going por seshun with ol the usual suspects to celebrate day op freedom bepore wipe comes back. Hopepully she will come on new road so quickly she will be in Puttalam bepore she realise she hau missed Colombo. Can giu me time por one last hand party.
p.s. Grease yaka came to put part in Nondi Dawid's house last week. Nondi cought the bugger and shoved a broomstick up where sun not shining. Too bad that was the one place there was no grease.