Tuesday 4 August 2009

Pace of a buboon


The halew. Now gossip aiya very busy man but while driving wheels of three I sometimes ishtop nears by the kollupitiya abans showrooms and watching crickate on the plat iscreen. Sometime these places are very crowded and dippicult to see as ol other tree wheel driwers and rasthiyadu buggers like security gards prom mack donal's place next door also watching match and waiting, but I hau solushun por that. I go into middle op crowd, islowly islowly raise sarong, and put a nice loong ismelly part. It what you call "silant but violant", or what i call "no sound but so profound". Ismell like rotten egg pactory hauing gas leak. Euribodies run like atom bomb has been hit and Gossip Aiya can watch cirickate in peace in one piece. (You might wonder how come I can put parts on demand. Well there is two reasons. One is always I am hauing some dirty roadside pood in stomak so always there is build up of methane in nether regions. Also I hau been practicing the art op the part por many years now as exit strategy prom domestic abuse. When wipe is iscolding iscolding i slooowly let one rip, and when she gets the whiff she runs out op room gasping por breath like drowning elepant seal.)

So I hau been pollowing recent cirickat wictories op glorious nation of Rajapakistan ower soththa nation op Pakistan. (sorry por any pakistan peoples reading this blog but you will hau agree, your team play like bunch op drunk pig farmers in heat.) But one thing i must say. Pakistan team hau some op most ugliest specimans op human nature I ewer seen. I thought Indian team was bad, but they looking like isuper-top models compared to this group of hillybillies. The prime example is the Pakistan wicket keeper. Now por those readers who not watching cirickate (shame on you and your pamily) I will describe his face. It was so very scary that it was like white van had suddenly come and park next to my tree wheel. Somebody watching my reaction when they show his pace might think I have seen isurumallis genitals on the tv. But no I have seen those, those are more funy than the iscary. But by goat! His pace looked like a 17th century commode which had not been flushed or cleaned since the day it was implanted. (you know the type which you hau to put a isquat and do and do). I do not understand how the king of rajapakistan hau put ban on showing ismoking, drinking, baby making and anything fun related on tv but still allows them to show this mans pace. Mouth like upside down paraw fish caught in hook. Chik witherak. Any childens who see it will become mentally ill and one day go to school and shoot everyone with a catapult. Chikey! Not like gossip aiyas beautipul pace.

Ispeaking about his majesty the King and his bans, this week King put ban on the adults only movies showing at 5 star cinema establishmants. These days op course Gossip aiya wont be affected by these thing because now hau past internet por usage during hand party seshun. Can put download op high quality mowies to watch in comport of own home. The last one I watch was Nil Batta's suggeshun op movie called "Anaconda". Unportunately I did not enjoy as it was mowie about actual snake, not what I was expecting. But bepore internet I was going going euriday por night show at Roxy theatre bepore going home. They used to show such classics as "Princess of the Night" and "Forrest Hump". Where are all the poor pellows going to go and clean their pipe lines if ol these places closes? But after seeing that commode face Pakistani cricketer op course, pipe might be like melted s-lon pipe for a long time.

I also hau heard rumour that king is going to put stop to sellage and consumerage op the alcohol ishpirits. Appataudu that will be the end op universe as we know it! On ol that is holeful this must be istopped. Otherwise no more mendis for gossip aiya. I will be like ship without sail. Like raa Danial without daval Migel only. Ip this bannage happens I will be forced to wote for the ladyman in the opposishun house.

A Very concered dishum dishum
Gossip Aiyah!

10 comments:

  1. The wait was worth it, Gossip Aiya!
    Art of The Fart. xD Ahahahahahaha useful knowledge that is!
    & you better be careful- suddenly you might find fans of the Pakistani learning the Art of the Fart just to use it against you. :P

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dear Gossip Aiya,

    I also hau part problem. The ladys don't lik to come close to me bcos op this. Wat du yu suggest I do?

    Meeta

    Sara Malli

    ReplyDelete
  3. yako sara! simple solushun. dont put the part. ip can not control put a pol mudda up the read end. dam fool

    ReplyDelete
  4. Goshhop Aiya!! Vary gud man! I love it..keep it coming!

    ReplyDelete
  5. apo if they ban mendis quickly quickly buy and keep a stock at home before the ban comes into effect!

    ReplyDelete
  6. yeah Gossip aiya. Like many others I am very concerned about the state of Rajapakistan as well.

    I am also very discusted that one cannot go anywhere in the coutry without havin to be forced to see the clown face of the king posted evurywhere.

    Me feel our country must have spend over billions on this good for nothing pursuit alone which could have been better used to help the poor and needy.

    I think its high time this good for nothing backward leach of a man and his uneducated brothers are gotten rid of and our country saved from these vultures.

    ReplyDelete
  7. isuru malli's dunda looks like baboon's face? tell him to see a gynecologist..this could be serious problem.

    ReplyDelete
  8. "It was so very scary that it was like white van had suddenly come and park next to my tree wheel."

    :D :D

    ReplyDelete
  9. gossip aiya.. what the eck where u upto ... looking at isuru malli's dunda. and all.. apo...bohoma kathey ne..

    ReplyDelete
  10. I am your number one fan in your fanning club, Gossip Aiya

    ReplyDelete