Today NDB (National Development Bank, or the National Dog's Bollucks) has started to offer people advice on managing their wealth. Gossip aiyah also thoughtt he would offer some thoughtts to the less smarter peoples on keeping money safe.
1)Do not give your money to anything with a key, be it golden, silver, bronze or made out of coconut shell. When key goes missing, how to open safe to take money?
2)Do not put money in "Golden" places, just because of name. Would you flush your money down toilet because the toilet seat is golden?
2)Do not trust a fat man, like Lalith Kotelawela, with money. Very very silly thing to do - he will take your money straight to Hotel de Hijra (5 star establishment on Galle Road), sit in the A/C room, and eat and eat until there is nothing left!
3)Do not put money on waters edge. If small breeze coming, money will fall into water. Gone.
4)Do not vote. If noone vote, no government. If no government, no taxes!
5)If you see a stray junglefowl on the road, do not just pass by. Put in trishaw and proceed to aforementioned Hijra. If you are lucky you will arrive just as fat man leaves after finishing all the chicken in the kitchen. Hijra will pay you princely sum of rupees 140 for each junglefowl for consumption in cheese rotis. Unless junglefowl has one leg, then only rupees 120.
6)If like me you like to run over people selling rambutan on side of road during season, always take their rambutan as you go.
For personal advice please call on mobile anytime. only don't call when i am hawing afternoon nap please.
dishum dishum
Gossip Aiyah
1)Do not give your money to anything with a key, be it golden, silver, bronze or made out of coconut shell. When key goes missing, how to open safe to take money?
2)Do not put money in "Golden" places, just because of name. Would you flush your money down toilet because the toilet seat is golden?
2)Do not trust a fat man, like Lalith Kotelawela, with money. Very very silly thing to do - he will take your money straight to Hotel de Hijra (5 star establishment on Galle Road), sit in the A/C room, and eat and eat until there is nothing left!
3)Do not put money on waters edge. If small breeze coming, money will fall into water. Gone.
4)Do not vote. If noone vote, no government. If no government, no taxes!
5)If you see a stray junglefowl on the road, do not just pass by. Put in trishaw and proceed to aforementioned Hijra. If you are lucky you will arrive just as fat man leaves after finishing all the chicken in the kitchen. Hijra will pay you princely sum of rupees 140 for each junglefowl for consumption in cheese rotis. Unless junglefowl has one leg, then only rupees 120.
6)If like me you like to run over people selling rambutan on side of road during season, always take their rambutan as you go.
For personal advice please call on mobile anytime. only don't call when i am hawing afternoon nap please.
dishum dishum
Gossip Aiyah
freaking joka!
ReplyDeletegossip aiyah doesnt wear joka
ReplyDeletethis one really made me laugh, despite having no clue who/what half the things are :P
ReplyDeletegossip aiya is happy you are laughing and laughing, but please don't fall over and hit nose in process. don't worry, gossip aiya wrote this article for clueless peoples such as your kind self. please feel free to query and gossip aiya will happy clarificate :)
ReplyDeleteYou r v talented. but i have a question, y no joka? ;)
ReplyDeleteGossip aiya better be wearing a joka... Otherwise too much view for others no. Sin for wipe
ReplyDeleteYou should change your comedy teacher.....
ReplyDeleteor Should change whatever the pills you are taking...