Counting (Dead) Crows

Now as you know Gossip Aiya spends most of his time in the maligawatta tree wheel park. Lots of things happening in tree wheel park. Only yesterday I saw a crow come plying plying and perch on head of paraa balla (istray dog). Poor dog jumped ap and down and running running in circles but dam crow wouldn't let go. I had to take catapult prom back of tree wheel and scare the bugger off. Only problam I try to miss but by mistake I hit crow. Now crow dead. Other driwer Nil Batta (giwen nickname due to short istature and his light blue colour tree wheel) suggested I take dead crow home to giwe wipe a scare. Maybe I will put in spice cupboard next to maldiwe pish. He he he dam woman deserves it only. But I might first try to sell it to piuwe star establishment of pillawoos.

In addition to these warious happenings and of course vigorous scratching of bullocks, I also like to listen about the gossips that’s happening around the country and world (por example now swine plue is called "pandemic". Gossip Aiya does not know meaning of word, but since pan club not hauing a pan called demic gossip aiya not worried in the slightliest.)

Anyway, recently Gossip Aiya is hauing hearing some vary interestful things about our lowerly country. All the military peoples in the higher offices seem to hau gotten promotions. Por exmple all Captains hawe becoming Commanders (now Captain Jack from captain jack makeral tins is commander jack), Commanders becoming Generals and so porth. And his most wenerable onerable excellency president of sri lanka ( gossip aiya giues lot of respect to the powerful peoples because he doesn’t not want to end up in unmarked white van with his arms and legs broken and bollucks chopped off) has declared himself king of the masses and his opposition leader as nodaking. The most honourable venerable excellency leader has also decided to change the name of the country from sri lanka to rajapakistan. I lauped wery hard when i heard this, but apparently not a joke. By the way at this point one must say (i hau been learning the english prom cricket commentator Ranjit Pernando) that I hau no appiliatons to either ruling or opposition parties. In pact Isuru Malli and I are setting up our own party (not like arrack party or jungi party, but political party). Now wery secret, but soon I will tell all the whole world about this.

Now you might think Gossip aiya is a pool, but actually ewery morning while on bog I read some newspapers. Ok maybe only isport section. Still better than looking at sky and waiting for brick to fall. Anyway today I has also found this marriage proposals on the papers -

” An educated sober partner is sought for Sinhala Buddhist Durawe daughter, MSc & MBA qualified IT specialist, fair, slim, 36 yrs, 5 feet 4 inches. Assets include block of land, car, savings and other valuables. Caste immaterial"

Now ewen ip Gossip Aiya was not married to witch of a wipe, apter reading pirst tree words of adwertisemant I realised could not applicable to apply. Aparathey. However ip you are educated and sober and interested apter reading descriptions, Gossip Aiya would like to issue warning. Pirst of all throw away arrack botal to preserwe soberness. Also prom my experiance, chances of sri lankan lady, who eat buth packet for lunch euridays and going in sun to buy malu bunis, being fair and slim are about as great as the chances of Gossip Aiays wipe being hit on the head by the king coconut (palling prom tree, not thrown by me). Also Make sure block of land is bigger than average size block of chocolate and car is not old morris minor which is resting on 4 jack trees. Now I don't know wha last two words mean. I think it mean that ip you hau brokan limb in plaster op paris caste, you can still apply. (even if no reply, apply and apply). Good news por all poor buggers that hau been taken por a ride in unmarked white wans.

Dishum dishum
Gossip Aiya