Temple Trees

There is old sri lankan proverb that the pish dies becos of his mouth. Gossip Aiya's pather used to constantly tell this to me when I used to be smart with him and he could not think of a good come back. The telling op this prowerb to me was usually accomponyed by patas shot across pace. Although these hammerations were dippicult to handle, now thanks to dear father i hau wery decent mouth, unlike potty mouth of wipe. Her father (dam third class drunkard) was too busy putting line to village women at the well to bother about daughter's behawior. Had i known true nature of the man earlier i newer would hau married into that cursed pamily...but that's another story.

So..."the pish dies becos op his mouth". Now por this saying to hau serwiwed so many years, there must be something true about it, but Gossip Aiya pails to understand where truth lies. Pish is not died because of mouth. The pish is dies because of pishing net and pisher man. When the net is put, mouth or no mouth pish is catch. After that gone. Straight into ambulthiyal.

But gossip aiya must agree to a certain extent with old man who thought of such proverb. People in general have very big mouths. And when I say big I don’t mean big as in big enough to be able to fit two cheese kottu one malu banis and two egg roti ol at the same time. Big mouth mean talking poppycock nonsense euriday. Like one treewheel driwer in park, who says he does dirty things in back of tree wheel with ewery hire that goes in his tree wheel (Gossip Aiya hopes por his sake he means ewery female hire). Anyway this is most depinitely a fabrication (that means lie, not something prom garment factory), especially since this particular bugger smells like horton place patrol shed and has pot belly the size of pregnant woman. This kind of big mouth that results in people thinking you’re a 'ismart arse' (another saying Gossip aiya does not understand. If your trying to be too smart you must be called ismart mouth, not ismart arse. If your backside can do the accounts for ariyapala stores while writing a screenplay por new Ranjan Ramanayake pilm then you should be called a smart arse.) Now one might ask why suddenly I am thinking about big mouth peoples. Something that happened to poor Gossip Aiya today only put all these thouts in head.

So gossip aiya is very religionful man. Euri poya day I go into garden, look at pull moon por hours and wait (good iscuse not to go inside house and hau to talk to wipe). Euri Sunday I drive tree wheel to church (mainly to catch a hire apter serwice pinis) and on Ramadan time I eat lot of buriyani (although all year I am eating lot of buriyani, not only Ramadan time). So today I go to temple with wipe because she wanted to feed flowers to a statue or something of the sort. Silly womans.

Now temple is peacepul place. This particular temple hau lot of temple trees (apparently Rajapakistan king liwes in treehouse there but Gossip Aiya hau not seen). Anyway in temple lots of peaceful things are supposed to happen and you should be able to hau peaceful thoughts.

But this fine day I sit down under temple tree, bathe in jasmine stick smoke to become peaceful (and drive off dam mosquitos) when I hear three womans talking very loudly. Now this is the too much. Peaceful place these womans are putting talks about how the next door man is reading the papers without shirt and how the mason baas next door winks at them while showering in his jokas. Chikey! What kakki thoughts to put into holy place. So gossip aiya got very angry I go upto them and go 'YAKO! KATA WAHAPIAU, wal geniy!' (directly translated this mean 'my good ladies please refrain from such talk in this holy and sacred place of worship. Thank you)

Then huka pochchi. These uncultured village women started hurling all kinds of abuse at me por eurione to hear. The abuse was so bad that the statue would hau choked on the flowers my wipe was trying to feed had it heard. I also got very iscared. Tried to run away but that dumb woman wipe of mine had heard the commotion and come running up, hitching up white sari and with look of death on pace. Whereever there is a pight you will find my wipe. I should name her Waliyalatha. So then she started shouting at them and they back at her and at same time wipe is shouting at me and other peoples in temple are shouting at them and me and then the priest started shouting at eurione until poor Gossip Aiya's ears were ringing opp the hook. So I came home and thought I should tell about my esperience. If you are thinking of going to temple with lot of trees don’t go now. My wipe is there with her big mouth. I wonder how long it will take for her to notice I am missing.

Dishum Dishum
Gossip Aiyah!