Wanted - hand(y) jobs

Now Gossip Aiya has been noticing lot of people hitting my blog euriday. Now all sorts of people are hitting - short, tall, dark, pair, ugly and uglier. But most importantly I hope some Colombo 7 buggers and bored wipes also looking and hitting (if all wipes are like my wipe they must be bored since they don't bother cleaning the dam house and sit around euriday looking at Mahagedara and Praveena on Singer telewision set).

Now as you may know, I hau wery annoying and gaseous poor jobless drunkard of a cousin, Isuru Malli. Dam fellow won't leawe poor Gossip Aiya alone, coming and stealing ambul thiyal from clay pot when I am not looking, then coming in the middle of night drunk as a junglefowl, botal of arrack in one hand, singing some dam Hindi tune and passing out in the naked in my pront lawn after getting saima cut wela. Bloody genital wart.

So, back to the point. Gossip Aiya is thinking, what better way to get good riddance of Isuru Malli than to find the little parasite a job, Maybe some Colombo 7 mahththaya will read this and giu Isuru Malli job, even if it is as flea remover of family dog. Then he will leave poor Gossip Aiya alone to pick his bellybutton in peace apter a hard day driwing tree wheel ( lot of debris filling in belly button space. Must put some plaster of paris and cover it up)

Now although Isuru Malli is a nuisance and a pain in my buttocks, he is not completely useless... In spite of gormless look on pace (see pictorial abowe), he has some good qualities. I thought i would write up list of his attributes for prospectiwe employers.

1)He is wery fast runner. This talent has been prowen many many times when Isuru Malli lets off a stinker of a part and I hawe to take my belt off sarong and chase him out of the house yelling "Ado thopi padayak ariya ne gas balla, inna ko mama thowa maranawa" ( kind sir have you let out some gas?) His running skills were also proven when he ran from the police when they came to catch him because he was peeping at the ladies while they made toilet. Chikey!

2)He is wery good tea-maker. When I go drinking with him at Rathnaseevali bar and come, next morning feeling like god dropped bullock cart on head and the bullock kicked me in the nut sack. But when I drink Isuru Malli's plain tea...ammata udu upset peeling in stomach wanishes like my wipe's ambul thiyal from clay pot. He says he put "special ingredient". Knowing Isuru Malli, probably better for me not to know what this is.

3)Ip you hau people of female type in oppice, you don't hau to worry about Isuru Malli getting inwolwed in oppice "fling" (Gossip Aiya guesses this means when two employees do dirty things in oppice including flinging jungis all ower place. chikey. Gossip aiya has never been to oppice cept to deliver lunch packet) I can say this with utmost confidence. Because contrary to what one sudhdha bugger said, try and try as he might this bugger will never fly. He has in the past had more appairs with the womans slippers and warious shoeses than the womans itselp. It seems he does not hau ismooth talking capabilities (unlike Gossip Aiya, who now wished he didn't as he wouldn't hawe landed his wild pig of a wipe who wants to do things to me with a broom stick. Devils woman)

So as you can see, Isuru Malli is wery employable. Please call anytime, or wisit kadala seller on galle pace for additional reperence. Only do not disturb during my apternoon nap!

In other news, now hawe patrol por tree wheel. No more pat man's buttocks in pace, thank God.

Dishum dishum
Gossip Aiya